Keep the Faith.

Just to warn you, this is a serious post. So if you were hoping for more of the craziness from my slumber world then stop reading now!

After a very long and deep conversation the other day, I got to thinking about an analogy that one of the people used. (Thanks Tim!) The analogy was about having faith. I always think that the word faith is quite a slippery concept. What does it actually mean? I think I was originally trying to think of a word for someone who has alot of faith, and it isn't faithful because that means trustworthy or loyal. The Bible says that faith means believing in something that you can't see, but I really don't think that quite sums up everything about faith. I mean it can be interpretted wrongly. As Tim said, I could believe with all my being that there was a chair in front of me, but unless it actually existed I would fall on my ass if I tried to sit on it!

When I was a little girl, we used to go most weekends to a place near where I live where there are a load of large limestone rock formations. It's a fantastic place for little kids, or even big kids for that matter because you can climb up big rocks, there are caves and secret pathways, some og the rocks wobble when you push on them in the right place and it's altogether loads of fun. One of my favourite things to do as a child was to jump off the top of the rocks into the arms of my Dad. It was so much fun. The faith element comes in there because I knew my Daddy would catch me. I had so much faith in this even up to the point where I would jump even if he wasn't waiting. So he had to develop eyes all over his head to be ready for when I would leap. But he always caught me. He was worth putting my faith in.

Unfortunately, in terms of God, faith is something that I now find really quite hard. The curses of age caught up with me and now I find myself constantly saying 'will it be ok?' 'will he catch me?'. I know in my head that God will always come through, I don't need any more proof than what he's already done for me, or the promises of the Bible that come true. Never once does God go back on something he says in the Bible and in my head, that's enough. I hate to admit it, but in my heart I'm still that little bit too much afraid all too often. I get too scared to put all my trust in God just in case.

But that just in case always winds me up in a much worse place than where I began. Trust me I know what happens to me when I try to do things on my own. It's horrifying how easily I can end up in a bigger mess than I know how to handle. I guess what I'm saying is that when Jesus tells us in the Bible to be more like children, this is what he means. It's the hardest thing in the world for an adult to jump off something and know that they will be caught by someone below. The child in me used to just leap from rocks and somehow know. That is faith. Believing that you will be caught, saved, protected and loved by a God who does exist. It is not just a blind 'oh I hope there's something out there.' It's real. Keep the faith.