the little things...

...that make it all worth while.

I was thinking today how funny it is that usually it's the really tiny insignificant events that happen when I get home from work that get me through work. Let me explain, a few days ago, every third thought throughout the day was about getting my new mp3 speakers that mum was picking up for me in town. Another day I spent the whole day looking forward to the bottle of wine that I knew my dad would be opening at tea time. I bought some really nice new knickers the other day, and I always get excited about wearing them. It's like the Lighthouse Family song "whatever gets you through the day.... that's your way"

But then I've always been like that, getting exctied about little things that no-one else really knows or cares about. For example, every birthday I make sure that I wear my favourite pyjamas, that I have some really nice underwear, that mum gets in my favourite cereal for breakfast and so on and so forth. It may sound like I'm a simpleton, but I prefer to look at it that I'm easily pleased by things that aren't a big deal, and so it's easy to make me happy!

Escapism

I am an escapist, self confessed. Sometimes I wish I wasn't because so often I struggle to face reality. But usually it means that I can get away from whatever is going on around me by imagining myself somewhere much better. Sometimes, however, no amount of imagination can take me away from where I am. Today was a day like that.
It didn't start off brilliantly when I went to get a parcel from the Post Office... the most un-navigable place in Britain, and the most un-helpful staff in the world. But anyway, then I get to work to discover that I'm actually working till 6.30pm rather than 5.30. And with the most disrespecful, ungrateful, rowdy bunch of kids in the universe. I tried all day to see them through better eyes, and to remember that the God who loves me loves them just as much... but by the afternoon when they were fighting, answering back, swearing and chucking stuff around I just gave up. Even thinking about my holiday which I'm so looking forward to couldn't take me away from them.
Then, to make matters worse, the text I sent home to let them know i was going to be late didn't get through, and apparantly my brother needed the car at 6pm. So I had a fairly nasty phone call from him at 6.10pm.
I'm tired, worn out, fed up... and I have to do it all again tomorrow. I just wish I had the power to imagine it all away.

Hello hello again...

well, Stage Fright is over and done for another year. How strange it feels to have 'been there, done that' already. Stage Fright is always such a highlight of my year and anyone who has ever been part of a holiday camp will know something of how it feels.

'Emotional rollercoaster' is a phrase I often use to describe SF, it's hard work, frustrating, exhausting, emotional, fun, hilarious, tiring, rediculous, unorganised and so full of God it's just incredible. I am sad to be home again, but then if we didn't have the end, we'd never have a beginning. I know that's the most obvious and pathetic thing to say, but there we have it.

Now I'm home for another two weeks of fun fun fun at work. Maybe I'll think of something remotely more profound before long!
Hope everyone is well.
x x x

Welcome back to me....

... appologies for my major lack of communication recently, have been very busy as I explained, but at least now I have the Internet working again (thanks Tim!) So here I am again, thought not for long, I'm going to Stage Fright tomorrow, somewhere near Lincoln. Woohoo exotic or what?! But actually I am really really excited about seeing everyone again. So that'll be fun, I have a nice big bag of dressing up clothes at the ready, so be waiting for plenty of crazy photos!

Last weekend I went with Tim to Chester to visit a school friend who's there doing an engineering placement thing, and it was really fun, but I had an interesting train journey there, just something I thought worth writing about. I have mentioned I know before about the Great British public (or is it that great British Public..?!) and certainly I experienced something of what my mother terms "the World War II Spirit" on the way. I hate train stations, I don't mind trains as much, but I really hate train stations. People are rude, and unfriendly and far too wrapped up in their own selfish worlds to ever acknowledge anyone else. But then make something go wrong, and suddenly everyone works together! It's bizzare!

In my case the 'something to go wrong' was a cancelled train. My stomach dropped right down to my toes when I heard that dreaded announcement... "the 11.34 train to Llandudnoe has been cancelled" full stop. No appology, no alternative.. it's just cancelled, vanished in to thin air. Great. Anyway, after discovering a few other people in my same predicament we all worked out which train to get instead and it was fine. But the atmosphere changes so dramatically as soon as anything goes wrong. People chat to each other, find out where they're going, talk about the one thing they have in common at that moment in time... the rubbish English train system...

I guess that's the point really isn't it... a random sea of faces at a train station have nothing in common. But a group of people all trying to find a cancelled train do have something in common. They have two things in common, a common need and a common hate! This is what my mum means by World War II Spirit, people open up and work together when they are faced with a need or danger. Of course I'm not comparing the experiences of a World War and a cancelled train! Simply drawing a parallel between the way people react to adversity, no matter how small it may be. And again I'll say it, I am glad to be British. Obviously not all the time... and I'm certainly not proud of alot of things associated with us and our country. But in essence it's not a bad place to live!

i'm still here...

...for anyone who may chance to read my blog, i haven't written for so long for three reasons:
1) i was in chester last weekend
2) couldn't get the internet to work until today when tim fixed it for me
3) have been working like a blue arsed fly.

but i will update before stage fright, that's a promise.
kat