Christmas. Duh.

Christmas. Duh.
It's almost the end of Christmas Day. I know everyone will have had such different days. I don't actually want to say anything in my own words. I am going to acknowledgingly steal someone else's words that are beautiful. These are the words of Jamie, from an organisation called To Write Love On Her Arms:

Much of life is a gift: Friendship. Laughter. Community. Conversation. Hope. Love. We hope this Christmas, and in the days that follow, that you get some time to appreciate the greatest gifts, to mourn for things gone missing, to begin to let go where you need to, and to fight for the things you're supposed to.

We're part of a surprising story. Bigger than ourselves and older than time. It is a redemption story.

Merry Christmas. It's all about love. x

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII´M...

...COMING HOME SO YOU´D BETTER GET THE PARTY STARTED.

OH YEAH.

Photos!

 

What I have discovered.

I didn´t blog last week because I had nothing to say.

This week isn´t much different. I had a great weekend in Santander with Oli and Hannah, but when I thought about writing down what we´d done it didn´t really sound so exciting. So I´m not going to bother.

Instead, I´m going to tell you a few things that I find interesting about life here. You might not find them interesting. Tough, I´m writing them anyway.

1. At the gym, when we have to hold our arms straight out to the sides at shoulder level, they call it "cruz". As in, "put your arms in a cross". Evidence of the deeply ingrained Catholicism.

2. You know that stupid, (but hilarious) program "Takeshi´s Castle"? The one with Chinese people making tits of themselves... well here it´s called "Humor Amarillo" i.e. "Yellow Humour". Not bothered about political correctness then.

3. Skinny jeans here are called "pirate trousers". I found that funny.

Have a nice week. 10 days until I´m home! Woop.

Peinado. (Hairstyle)

Right. Well, this is going to be short because to be blunt, I haven´t got anything to say! Just two things mainly.

First. Went to get my hair cut yesterday... I´m not sure that the desired outcome of going to the hairdressers is for the client to walk away in hysterics because of the way her hair turned out... but that´s pretty much what happened! I was prepared for it to be an amusing experience... it´s hard enough even in English to explain to a hairdresser how I want my hair, so I didn´t go in with the hightest of expectations.

To begin with I had it washed of course, and when she was combing it out she just caught the back of my conch piercing (that´s the one in the middle of my right ear for those of you who don´t know!) I must have flinched because she asked if she´d hurt me. I said no don´t worry, and then she looked and said "ah, it´s because you´ve got these" and proceeded to POKE my ear really hard! I felt like saying "well NOW you´ve hurt me you stupid woman!!!"

When I was asked how I wanted it cut I just said "a little bit shorter, but not too much, the rest is up to you." I think that´s one of the best side effects from having been completely bald.. I don´t actually care if my hair gets mucked up, it´ll grow out. Oh, and I did remember to tell her about the tattoo before she freaked out and thought I had some kind of strange skin disease.

Anyway, cutting was fine, it looks really nice and I´m really pleased with it. The funny part was when I was given my options for how I wanted it styled. "Straight, or straight with the ends flicked out". Those are my only two choices?! I just told her to do what she thought would look best, I was going to wash it out as soon as I got home anyway.

So out comes the hairdryer and the big scary brush and I´m subject to burning and pulling around until I eventually look like this:


(sorry facebook readers, you won´t see the photo I don´t think. I look stupid!)
I came away killing myself laughing. It´s all gone back to normal this morning when I washed it so it´s fine now!

The second thing I wanted to say was how I realised this morning that the word "temperature" is actually really difficult to say! It is pronounced nothing like it´s written and for the poor Spaniards, the combination of letters is probably the most difficult for them to say! We repeated it about 60 million times this morning!

Anyway. That´s all from me, nothing else is happening at all. It´s sunny today and I´m coming home three weeks on Friday.
Love and bugs.

Update from the Spanish Front

Well hello.

How is everyone? I am doing just fine, and have infact had quite a fun week so far. Let me fill you in since whatever-it-was day last week that I wrote before.

So. Last Friday. I went to the gym again, not really wanting to because I was tired and aching, but decided that since a)I´d paid and b)it´s good for me, I would go. It turned out to be absolutely hilarious. The teacher made it known to all the others that I´m English and they kept asking me how you say things in English, and they were all really friendly. As for the class itself... it can only be described as "baffling". At one point she told us all to get these long sticks, then said we´d be singing in English, then everyone went to the centre of the room and put the sticks together in a point, then some people starting singing this chanty thing and doing a kind of hopping-type dance, and then they all burst out laughing. I have no idea what that was about.

You know how there´s a kind of stereotype for middle-aged women who go to the gym to escape their annoying children and nagging husbands and to be all young and girly again? Well, it´s not just a stereotype. It´s true. They couldn´t stop laughing at the fact we had to do pelvic thrusts lying on our backs. But then again, neither could I! And as is becoming quite common, at the end of the class the lights were turned off and we all gently stretched to Unbreak My Heart. This included lying upside down in a foetal position. The most surreal experience of my life! And I´m going again tonight!

The weekend was chilled out and lazy. I went out to buy the paper on Saturday morning (the Torygraph I´m afraid, but the only one I can get in English, plus I like the crossword!) I made my first attempt at chocolate brownies... mixing the ingredients in a pan because I don´t have a mixing bowl and guessing what 100g of butter is because I don´t have scales. Needless to say they turned out abit rock hard! But trial and error is the way forward, I am going to try them again this afternoon. I want to give them as a present to the German beggers here. At least I think they are German, they said something that sounded very much like "danke" when I gave them bread last week.

On Sunday I went with a friend of a friend to a new church, which I loved. I have never felt so welcomed among strangers. As soon as I walked in the door I was greeted with a fierce hug by a woman I felt sure I should know, but don´t... I guess this may have freaked some people out, but it only made me feel really wanted and at home. There are quite a few English speakers there which was nice, and I chatted to lots of new people. I´m looking forward to going again next week. It does take me almost 3 hours to get there... but totally worth it.

Monday and Tuesday this week have been quite artistic. We watched Miss Potter at the weekend (in Spanish because we always do, but then I re-watched it in English because I really wanted to hear Ewan McGregor´s real voice!) and I was inspired to paint and draw. Ha ha ha I hear you laugh, yeah I know I´m not the most artistic person in the world, but it´s fun, and no-one has to see what I "create". Using that word in it´s loosest of meanings!

Other than that, my friends, life here is pretty quiet and steady. Nothing majorly exciting to report. I have been buying Christmas presents though which IS very fun. Oh and something which I find really funny about living here... individual houses don´t have their own rubbish bins for collection, what happens here is that you take all your household rubbish and recycling to "communal" bins in the street. You can´t imagine how aweful I feel doing that, it being illegal in England and all. I feel like I should be going with gloves and a balaclava it feels that wrong! But hey ho, when in Rome and all that jazz.

Well, this is too long and probably boring by now. Tootle pip.

Ugh can´t believe I just typed "tootle pip". And look, I just did it again. Loser.

The Purple Tree Car With Cheese

Helloooooooooooooooo.oooo....ooooooooo....oo...ooo

...ooo

...oooo

.oo

*puff*

That was a man falling off a cliff. And yes, since the last time you heard from me, I have watched Scrubs. Lots and lots of wonderful Scrubs. I went up to Santander Saturday night to see my friend Hannah and me and her flatmate discovered that we can both quote Scrubs word for word. So we watched lots of it and drank beer. It was possibly the most fun I´ve had in a long time!

But wait, there´s more... then we all got into our pyjamas and squished into Hannah´s bed and watched the BBc Pride and Prejudice until 2 in the morning. That also was a little bit too much excitement to cope with! I felt so happy and normal having so much English intake! I love watching films with Mélanie, and I love living in Spanish, but it becomes abit painful in the head every now and then and I think I needed the injection of Englishness!

Then on Sunday Hannah came down to my little mountian town for a visit. It was really fun, I took how around the whole place... in about an hour! Then we spent ages over cooking a lovely big bolognese and drank a bottle of wine, and then went to this pub that I walk past every day but haven´t had a chance to go to yet. It was really friendly and inside there was a big Guinness sign, but I forgot to ask if they actually have it. I had my usual JD and coke... half JD and half coke, I´ve never tasted it so strong! lol.

When Hannah went on Monday, after we´d pigged out on this local thing of sweet fried bread dipped in thick dark hot chocolate sauce- the best thing ever... I did feel abit lonely and low. I don´t know, it just feels like a long way to Christmas at the moment! But it´s ok, today I am going for lunch with one of the teachers which I´m really looking forward to, and then she´s going to take me up into the valley to have a look around, possibly up to the ski station because there isn´t too much snow yet for cars to get up. I´m looking forward to it because without a car it is really difficult to go see my immediate surroundings.

I´ll also be going to the gym again this week, I really enjoyed it last week. Can you believe it, that I: the very same girl who made a great song and dance about not paying her Durham sports fee because there was no way she was going to get any use out of it... have actually voluntarily been to the gym a number of times, and am planning on going much more! But I did really enjoy it, and I also discovered, quite by accident, that it´s really good for lifting your mood. I´m sure every Tom Dick and Harry in the world knows this except me, but I thought that was pretty cool. Last Friday made me laugh because she got us all lying down on the floor and I thought we were going to do those hideous abdominals, when she turned all the lights off and had us all gently stretching to that song "unbreak my heart", can´t remember who it´s by... But it made me giggle! It was also funny because I couldn´t actually see what she was doing, and so had to guess at what she was saying!

This weekend we (as in Mélanie and I) may be going to Bilbao with a teacher I have never met which could be fun! Might be nice to go away at least and I seem to remember from all those years ago that Bilbao is a really nice city.

Ooh, I have put some of my photos up on Facebook and will aim to do so on Myspace soon. I hope everyone is well, can´t really think of anything else to say. It´s very, very, very cold here.
Love and squishy bugs.
x

Whirlwind

Hola. Hello. Bonjour. Halo. And whatever other language you feel the need to be greated in. How´s it going?

All is well from this end of the world. Isn´t that a stupid thing to say, how can the world possible have ends... it´s round. Maybe the person who thought up that saying is still living before Galileo.

So. I am safe and well back in España after my rapid trip to England. And I really do mean rapid, I feel like I need this week to recover from the craziness. The journey was in a word horrific. Far too long, and I really do not recommend staying overnight in an airport, I´m fairly sure I was beginning to hallucinate by the end of it, I´m sure I didn´t leave Reinosa in a dog sled being pulled by an army of hamsters wearing grass skirts...

For the record, I hate English trains. Both the trains I got over the weekend were screwed up. The first one because vandals had cut the signal lines at Chesterfield meaning I was 2 and a half hours late arriving into Durham, and I had to sit on the floor of the train squished right up against the door, after more than 24 hours of no sleep that just wasn´t cricket and I was in a right state by the time I arrived in Durham. I´ve never taken drugs, but I think I was close to knowing what it would feel like. I was shaking and twitching and completely hyper. Part of it was excitement of course, I´m not sure that devouring a DSU chocolate brownie was the wisest decision either!

Hound was AWESOME. I wore my beautiful shoes and the whole cheese room bowed down to worship them. Ok, so I´m pretty sure no-one noticed them, but I felt great. The music wasn´t the best unfortunately. DJ Robin felt the need to play a number of crap songs twice and completely ignore Summer of 69, Insomnia, I am the one and only and other great classics. Still, it was worth it.

On Saturday I went to Prebends Bridge and you guys in Durham do not realise how lucky you are to be there at the moment. I am not joking I almost cried when i saw the cathedral from the bridge. It´s my favourite view of my favourite building. And the autumn colours this year are incredible. Tim and I watched the football in Walkabout too which was fun, mostly for the food and all the Englishness rather than the football I have to admit! Grey fireworks on Saturday night were fantastic and the wonderful Aileen fed us with popcorn. Yum yum.

And now I´m back in my little tiny town, quite happy as well which is nice. The teachers were really interested in hearing about my weekend, and the classes this week have been really fun. The sun is shining here though the air is very very cold and even though there´s not one sign of Christmas over here, I am beginning to feel quite Christmassy. I have been wearing my poppy proudly all week and explaining that to everyone. Some of the kids were abit unimpressed that we wear paper poppies, I´d never even given that a thought before, but it´s because they´re made by kids isn´t it?

Anyways, I joined the gym and went to a "tonification" class last night, still haven´t figured out what that would be in English... "body toning" maybe. Anyways, it was fun and I was even brave enough to go on my own after the teacher I was going to go with texted me to say she couldn´t. Legs are aching abit today, but hopefully by the time you next see me I´ll be of supermodel proportions. Probably not. Oooh ooh and the most exciting thing ever is that I found Lea and Perrins in the supermarket!!!!! AND, even better, real cheddar cheese... will definitely be getting involved with some serious cheese on toast later this week.

So now I´m going to love you and leave you with two pieces of advice I´ve learnt this week.
1. If you can´t sleep, get a teddy bear. I brought Sweetie back with me and I´ve slept fine so far this week.
2. If you ever want your hair to be magically straightened forever, go talk to Nicola. I swear she has magic in her straightners as I´ve washed my hair 3 times since she straightened it and it still hasn`t gone properly curly! There will not be any photos of me at the moment, it looks horrendous inbetween curly and straight!

Bye x

The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly...

...on me.

No joke. The number of people who wished me luck in ´sunny Spain´before I left was incredible, and it´s just like being in Durham! Rain, cold, rain, wind, rain... did I say rain? It hasn´t stopped raining for ages and what´s worse is that it isn´t proper rain at all, no, it´s "that fine rain that soaks you right through". In the imnortal words of Peter Kay.

But, life goes on. I need to buy me some more rain clothes, but apart from that it´s all fine and dandy. The weekend was my first full weekend in Reinosa which was fun. It´s nice being all lazy in the mornings and just reading and watching kids´TV! Then on Saturday night the library had a kind of open day type event that ran from 5pm on Saturday evening until 5am on Sunday morning. Somehow gaining an hour in the middle as the clocks went back.

I went for most of the middle part where they had a traditional singer who had the most beautifully clear voice, and she sang some really beautiful songs. She played a tamborine/drum thing amazingly, and there was a clarinetist with her (who turned out to be an English teacher and spoke French too!) and some of the songs had guitar accompaniement too. My favourite song was about the miners and a woman singing about watching them every day going down and then up and then down and then up ("bajar y subir. Subir y bajar y bajar y subir") Thought I´d put the Spanish in to make me look good. Then they had some poetry reading which was beautiful. It was a little strange when they had food because Mélanie and I found it really hard to pluck up the courage to speak to anyone. I find it hard enough in England! But then one of the teachers from the school came along and it was easier with her to be introduced to people etc.

This week is all fine so far, we´re watching Harry Potter with the year 9s. I realised it is actually years since I saw the first film and it looks so old now! But it´s funny all the same, and Ron has a very strong London accent which I´m fairly sure he doesn´t in the later films... I´ve been doing lots of reading and studying for next year and I´m feeling quite smug. I´m sure the novelty will wear off sooner or later. And today I finished reading Swallows and Amazons and I really wish I was living on an island in the middle of a lake in the Lake District!

I´m going back to England this Friday (in case anyone hadn´t noticed!) and I´m very much excited, Planet of Sound on Friday and lots of good times I´m sure. I´m going to bring back Marmite for them to eat. Mwah ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa. I bought a can of Baked Beans the other day too, I don´t even like them that much it just felt like I wanted to eat something very English! They were wonderful!

Anyways, as you can probably tell that is about all the news I can think of right now. If you´re in Durham/Harrogate then I can´t wait to see you this weekend, if not then sorry, and I can´t wait to see you whenever I next will! lol.

I hope all is well with everyone else and it´s not raining as much in England as it is here!
Love x

No Imaginative Title

...can´t think of a vaguely interesting title today so you´ve got that one!

All is still going well in now-not-so-sunny-Spain... the past few days have been FREEZING and as we´re still too stingy to pay for heating, but have the keep the windows open abit because of the damp, I feel just like being back in our lovely student house! I´m sleeping with a hoody and thick socks on at the moment, but I think I´m going to talk to Mélanie my flatmate about putting it on in the evenings!

I went shopping in Santander last weekend with my friend Hannah which was fun, I bought a BEAUTIFUL new pair of shoes, I´m not exaggerating, everyone is and will be extremely jealous of me. Then we watched the rugby which was funny. I am fairly sure that there was only one pub in the whole city showing it, so crammed inside was everysinge English speaker in the city! We got there late and so had to watch the first half from outside the window! Then we got inside for the second half and it was good fun, a good atmosphere! Good match, shame we lost though.

This week´s lessons are all going well so far, thery´re having a few exams this week so I get a few hours off! Hee hee. The students are all good fun, I really enjoy being here, sometimes it´s frustrating that I can´t take over and actually be the teacher, sometimes I don´t think they are strict enough! lol, I wonder if I would be one of those really aweful teachers that the kids hate because they are so strict? I don´t think so, I´m too daft. They always laugh at me here because I act things out when they don´t understand. Last week I had to take certain poses so that they had to guess what I was feeling, or what message was being sent. For example I stood rolling my eyes with my arms folded and tapping my foot... they thought it was funny.

There´s not alot else going on here, but I do want to write something about the TV program I saw part of last night. I don´t know what it was called, but it was about the trafficking of girls into the sex trade. Many were being intervied about their horrendous experiences. Mélanie said that they don´t have any information on this in France because it´s too much of a ´tabboo´subject. I´m not going to start slagging off the French, but that, and the program made me feel sick. Once again I feel totally helpless. I was sitting on my bed, in my nice little flat, in this nice little town, I have a nice little job, and a nice little family. The effect of this is two fold on me. I feel overwhelmingly grateful for all the things that I do have. I know I take my life for granted far too often, and last night I was reminded again, forcibly of the things that I do have.

Of course, the flip side to this is a pure disgust and anger at the world that I am a part of. There is nothing I can do right now for those girls though every fibre of my being wants to go and take them all out of the horrific nightmares they are forced to live and give them a new life, and hope, and love. Because I know that there is more, that there is hope. I am angry at the people who have become so monstruous as to buy and sell humanity, I feel compassion for them because they too must be severely damaged to be able to do the things they do. I feel anger. I felt sick watching a young pretty Romanian girl crying as she recounted how she was treated.

Bought.

She was owned by someone else. Nobody should EVER be "owned" by another human being. It´s atrocious. Her life will never be the same again. She has deep, deep wounds and I can´t help but wonder if they will ever be healed.

I prayed last night. I prayed for God to use me to make this right. To bring justice. I know that the pain that I feel is a tiny fraction of the anguish God suffers when he sees all his children being treated so abominably. I know that he needs people to DO something. He needs people to do more than nod and smile sympathetically and say "yes, I know, isn´t it terrible what´s happening in some other part of the world". He needs us to take a good look at ourselves, to stop being so addicted to our own spheres, our own lives and our own selfishness and he needs us to do something.

That something, for me, I don´t know what it is yet. I don´t know what I can do from Spain. I feel trapped here, but I know that I can and will do something. I pray that one day every single human being on this planet will know that they are loved. Will know that they are not alone. Will know that they are valued, and needed and respected. I pray this knowing that there is God who can hear me, and I pray this knowing that I am also guilty of not loving other people, not respecting other people, not treating other people with the dignity they deserve.

As I was falling asleep last night I wrote a poem about a girl who believed she was being taken abroad to a better life, only to find out that she had been sold as a prostitute. I shouldn´t write things in my head as I fall asleep because now I don´t remember it. But I wrote it all the same. Maybe it will come back to me at some point.

I hope that this hasn´t bored you, and if it has then I hope it was because of my bad writing and not the subject. I can´t think of anything that makes me more angry than this and I hope that you can feel that with me, and help me to do something.

Thanks for listening (reading).

Until next time from Spain.
x

Shape of My Heart

Oli and I decided that Sting´s song would be perfect for the soundtrack to Casino Royale. The words fit really well, go see for yourself. "He deals the cards as a meditation, for those he plays never forget. He doesn´t play for the money he wins, he doesn´t play for respect." Perfect.

Anyways. Another week in sunny Spain. Actually it has been quite nice weather recently, but what am I doing talking about the weather?! I just can´t help being English. I did buy some tea bags yesterday and then promtly drank 3 cups of tea in a row. It was like a little piece of heaven. I have real milk too, none of this UHT crap. But yes, the sun. I was in Madrid for the weekend and it was baking hot. Oli and I spent a good number of hours sleeping in parks in the sun. Saturday afternoon we were by a fountain too which was just hypnotic. Wonderful.

Madrid is great though, it´s really lively and clean and there are so many beautiful buildings. We went into the Cathedral which is ´preciosa´but still not a patch on Durham. And then we stumbled upon another church that took our breath away. I think that the presence of a choir heightened the beauty, especially when they sang Mozart´s Ave Verum, I closed my eyes and felt like I was in Mary´s little chapel again! Oli introduced me to his friends who were all realyl friendly and on Saturday night I was taken on my first real night out in Spain. As I have said, Reinosa is full of bars but it kind of defeats the point if you have no-one to go to a bar with! We didn´t even meet people until gone 10 and then sat outside drinking sangria until around about midnight, it was still really warm. We got to a club at 1.30am I think, it was called the Monna Lisa. Yes, they spelled it with 2 ´n´s. And then didn´t get home until 5am. Excellent fun.

My lessons this week have all gone well so far. Today I had a music lesson where they were learning the English names for different music styles. The students had brought in examples of music that we listened to and they all laughed at my dancing to ´Shakira Shakira´. I got very excited. In one of the English classes for year 8 I am very pleased to know that they are going to read A Little Princess, one of my favourite books ever, I think I´ll just have to buy the DVD so that they can see it too. I´m starting to think that I would really like to be a teacher, they are so much fun. But then I wonder what if I got a really difficult school, I think I would be too scared, I am far too easily intimidated. Even here they scared me until i got to know them!

Well, I think this is probably long enough, besides I really really need a wee. Ooh, I watched Edward Scissorhands last night with Mélanie and it made me cry loads. It always does but I love it. I think tomorrow I may go to the cinema to watch a realy Spanish film, I feel I should make the most of the opportunity to culturise myself. Hey I just made up a new word. Fun times.

Well, I will go now, I hope everyone is well... I officially have my flights booked and I am coming home the first weekend in November. For all those in Durham that means Planet of Sound on Friday and at least 7 smoothies in the DSU! For those not at Durham, I probably won´t see you, but don´t cry too much I´ll be home at Christmas!

Lots of love and besos. x

Little Green Aliens

Today I am shattered. My eyes are barely open as I write this and I really really need an early night. But I am so dedicated to the cause of keeping you all informed on the tales and woes of my life that I am still writing this blog for your sakes. Or something to that effect. Who knows what it´s actually going to say!

I spent THREE AND A HALF hours in the foreign office this morning trying to finally get all the paper work and bureaucracy out of the way. Stupid stupid system that they have here. It´s all numbers and tickets and queues and as little contact with real human beings as possible. We were all sitting in this room waiting for our number to pop up on the board so we could go behind the blue screen to the world of freedom beyond. It felt like we were those little green alien toys in Toy Story that long for the claw to come and pick them up and take them to a better place even though they had no idea what lay on the other side. Well, eventually the claw got me and I am now fully registered in the country. Registered as what exactly I do now know. I almost got registered to vote here... I hope I haven´t renounced my British citizenship in the process!

I feel like this week has really just been all about registering. I am registered at the library, this Internet place, the DVD rental place... I have cards and certificates for everything here! But it´s good, it makes me feel like a part of the place.

I spent abit of time last week (in between the office visiting) at the beach in Santander which was lovely. It suddenly turned out to be a really sunny day and it was a really pretty beach. It´s great to have so much time to do with as I please and I know that lots of people think I´m just slacking off this year... you´re probably right. But for me it´s a great opportunity to read books I´ve wanted to for ages, take loads of photos, go for long walks, meet new people, learn new things... I may be teaching two little kids English which could be fun (and for 10 pounds an hour that´s pretty good money!)

Also for me I think this is going to be a good time to leanr something that I have always struggled with. And that´s living in the present. Here in Spain we all know that they live ´mañana´. Nothing is urgent, everything can be done tomorrow. I hate that. The inside me wants to do EVERYTHING. Right now. Sorted. Done. Over with. You simply cannot do that here. You have to live each day as it comes. I once read something that I think is worth sharing.
"God is a big fan of today. That´s why you keep waking up in it. You have made your request known for a hundred different yesterdays, but the sun keeps rising on this thing that is today. Today is the best place to live."
For years I have lived my life either in the past - full of regret, or in the future - full of longing for something else. A very wise friend of mine once reminded me of this ´Kat, don´t spend your life wishing time away, you´ll wake up one day and find your wish has come true.´

If I can come home from Spain having learnt that and only that, I think that my time here will have been worth it. Easier said than done!

I hope everyone is well, and that you didn´t mind my diversion into philosophical thinking! Please do comment on these blogs if you want to!
I miss everyone lots and lots.
Love x

Hello World!!!

Well hello there. I am still alive!!! And so far everything is going well here in sunny Spain. I have so much to say and it would actually take far too long to say it, so I´ll just try to keep to the bare minimum. Anything beyond that would probably bore the socks offf you anyways!

So. Here I am. I have an address, a bank account and this week I´m going to make the difficult and dangerour trek to the nearest city to get my official national insurance number so I can be paid. I can´t believe that it´s all unfolding before my eyes. This whole "year abroad" lark has been talked about for literally years and now it´s actually happening. And has actually happened. It´s crazy.

But everything is good. I spent my first day at the school today. The teachers are lovely and friendly and welcoming and they invite me to have coffee with them at break time and one of them offered to take me to the ski slopes sometime (yay!!) I feel almost at home already. The students are great too. I´m helping with years 7,8 and 9 and their level of English is fantastic. I have to say it, but way better than our equivalent in England. Shameful on us, but good for me because it´s more interesting! They were asking me questions today and I got all kinds of random ones. It´s actually quite hard to think on the spot of who I would like to be for a day, or who I think is the most beautiful person in the world, or what I would change about myself if I could change anything... I know, they got quite personl!!!

I´m sharing a flat with the French assistant from the school and she´s really lovely too. Easy going and quite amiable, I think we´ll get on well, I am glad to have company but to also be able to speak Spanish all the time. Our little flat is lovely, it´s all new and pretty and I am loving doing my own shopping and cooking my own food and being all independant!

Reinosa itself is a nice little place. I think that the centre is a little smaller than the centre of Durham but it´s abit more spaced out in terms of the shops etc so it feels smaller. It´s a friendly place though and last weekend they had a big fiesta so we got to see all the traditional costumes, the parade with bulls, donkeys, bagpipes (!) singing, dancing, huge dogs pulling little carts... etc. And on Sunday evening they had a huge stage with an awesome band in the main square. The first piece was a slow jazz thing with an amazing trumpet and trombone duo going on.

I am drinking lots of ´cafe con leche´ as they do here, and it´s only 60p! It´s great, I feel all "continental". I buy bread on the way home from school in the mornings, I drink their amazing hot chocolate - Cola Cao, I eat tea really late, and I´m watching the OC every day at 7pm. I really think that this is going to be a good year. I am so relieved because as most people know I so did not want to come. I hated the training in Madrid, and didn´t want to be here, and was scared about how it would all turn out. I turned up here in Reinosa without even a hotel and here is how everything has worked out. The God I believe in is truely looking after me, I cannot deny that. I would not be this happy and calm otherwise I know that for sure. He is an amazing God and I love him!

I´m going to go now this is too long! Sorry! I will send out my address and mobile number in email form... not a good idea to post it on the internet! lol. I hope everyone is well and it´d be great to hear from you even if I can´t get round to replying personally to everyone. Lots of love and besos.
xxx

Lost and Found

My brother just bought the Cars soundtrack and naturally I nicked it.

There is a beautiful song by Brad Paisley called Find Yourself. Here are the words to begin with:

When you find yourself
In some far off place,
And it causes you
To rethink some things.
You start to sense
That slowly you're becoming someone else
And then you find yourself.

When you make new friends
In a brand new town,
And you start to think
About settling down,
The things that would have been lost on you
Are now clear as a bell.
And you find yourself
That's when you find yourself.

Well you go through life
So sure of where you're heading,
And you wind up lost
And it's the best thing that could happen.
'Cause sometimes when you lose your way
It's really just as well.
'Cause you find yourself;
That when you find yourself.

When you meet the one
You've been waiting for,
And she's everything
That you want and more,
You look at her
And you finally start
To live for someone else.
And then you find yourself;
That's when you find yourself.

We go though life
So sure of where we're heading,
And then we wind up lost
And it's the best thing that could happen.
Sometimes when you lose your way
It's really just as well.
Because you find yourself;
Yeah that's when you find yourself.

That chorus, the bit in italics, I love that. It IS cheesy I know, but think about it. Sometimes it takes something really scary to shake you up and make you realise what's really going on. I was also thinking about what happens when you do get lost, as is really lost not metaphorically lost.
You basically have three choices:
1. Just sit in one place and either cry and complain that you'r lost or wishfully hope that eventually someone will come find you (unlikely btw)
2. Wander randomly around and wishfully hope that you'll eventually find your way to where you should be (again, unlikely)
3. Make and rational plan, ask othere people and set off determined to actually find your way.

Like I said, cheesy and a simplistic analogy. But one that I can't help giving at least some thought to all the same.

Time for another rant...

Right. Seeing as I've gotten on abit of a roll with the rants, here's another one for you. Everything I say here is coming from my own personal experience and opinion and precisely because I'm about to rant, I may say some things that people disagree with. There's no offense meant and if anything I do say does offend then you have two options. Either a)talk to me about it, I like to discuss things and won't have a problem with people who disagree with me or b)get over the fact that other people having opinions has offended you.

Ok. So, the bottom line is that I hate the NHS. I know alot of people hate the NHS for various reasons that I won't go into. I am extremely grateful that our country provides free healthcare. I think it's appaulling that countries like the USA don't and I have seen first hand what it's like in a country with almost no healthcare available for the really poor. So I am grateful.

What I HATE about the NHS is their beaurocratic bollocks and the fact that 'technology' has advanced so much that people aren't being treated as individuals anymore. My Grandad was saying the other day that when he was little and went to the doctors, they would look at you and ask questions and then personally make up your medicine for you based on how you were feeling/looking. Then came the blood tests. Wonderful things, and I'm not being sarcastic because sometimes illnesses can't be picked up without a blood test. No, the problem I have is when one of the top specialists in the country can look at a woman unable to feed herself and in a wheelchair and cheerily claim "good news, your blood tests are normal you can go home now". Something is very wrong there.

Not everyone knows, but my mum was inexplicably ill for about 4 and a half years and no-one could figure out what was wrong. She was the one who had doctor after doctor after doctor tell her that she must be making it all up because the blood tests were normal. Whatever normal is. Then she finally went to a private specialist who took one look at her and said she had a thyroid deficiency. She'd been tested for that already but he said that the blood tests were unhelpful if your activity dropped within the range. Basically it meant that although her tests were normal, because the range they claim to be 'normal' is so big, her thyroid activity had actually dropped loads. Thus making her extremely ill but still within the 'normal' blood test.

That specialist gave her the treatment she needed and now she's completely well again. That specialist is now in court for malpractice and will be struck off.

That is what I hate the NHS. The General Medical Council claims that it is of no relevance at all that thousands of people have got better under this doctor's treatment, the fact remains that he's treated outside of blood tests and that is malpractice. Mum's been summoned as a witness to testify for him but in reality the GMC have already made their decision. He will be struck off and anyone who would have had a hope of recovery by going to him will now have no hope.

I can't stand it when people aren't listened to like that. It's so unjust. People aren't being treated as individuals because there are a set of restrictions outside of which doctors cannot work. And I just can't get my head around how anyone can possibly think that every human being is exactly the same. It just isn't true. We are all different in everything and so logically that would follow for things like thyroid production just as much as sleep needs, vision, eating habits, allergies, energy levels etc etc etc. It's just that the power- happy money-loving monsters that have no idea about real people have just set blanket rules because it's cheaper and easier for them. With wider ranges for blood tests, less people will show up with illnesses so regardless of whether they can even function properly they can be told that they are well because the infallible blood tests say so.

There's a possibility that in the future the GMC will ban the drug that my mum takes. I dread the day when I'll have to go back to seeing her lie in bed unable to do anything for herself. And she must be one in literally thousands who will be in the same situation.

There we go. That's why I hate the NHS.

NPOWER ARE USELESS

This is how much I HATE NPower.

They are useless, pathetic, rubbish, incompetent, unhelpful, rubbish and did I mention useless?! Ugh, I am so so so fed up with them that even three months after we've moved out of the house they were suppling to I'm still not rid of their pestering.

They are like a blood-sucking leach that just won't die.

Here's a brief run-down of my/our dealings with NPower this year. October: we move into the house and set up a gas and electric account with NPower. They supplied the previous tennants so it made sense. The 'nice' man I spoke to seemed incapable of comprehending that I might not be the world's leading expert on gas and electricity and so I came off the phone non the wiser as to how much we were going to pay or when etc.

Then we get to December and although I don't remember the details (I tried to block them from my memory) we realised that no money had been taken from the Direct Debit scheme we'd set up (or thought we had at any rate). So in January I rang again and the 'helpful' lady told me that we hadn't actually set up an electricity account and did I want to there and then? I have no idea where we'd been getting electricity from for three months, and when I asked if she was going to back-charge us from October she seemed to say no because we hadn't set up an account. Whatever.

On to Easter and they send us a letter saying that our power usage doesn't match the meter readings they have for us so they're going to come round and get a meter reading themselves. The idea of different tennants year on year seems to create a 'does not compute' message with them where they just go into overdrive and start to panic. Apparantly we couldn't have a statement of usage until we'd lived there a year... having been told that we wouldn't be there a year because we are students they mumbled something incoherent and probably went to sit in a dark corner to recover from the total stress of being asked a question that didn't have an answer that a trained monkey could have figured out.

So then we leave the house and come to the point where we cancel the gas and electricity accounts with NPower to be shut of them forever. In an ideal world anyway. The first sign I had that things had not gone to plan was when they took the direct debit payment from my account after we'd cancelled our contract with them. Then they sent the bill to the Durham address instead of to Heather. A phone call today confirmed that they have no record of the account being cancelled and seeing as I don't have the meter reading here with me they're going to take an estimate and give me a final statement from that. As if. Come hell or high water I'll get them a meter reading. There is no way I'm letting them guess how much we owe them.

I'm sorry, but fucking useless. Everything they've done so far has been wrong. How is it so difficult to do something so simple?!?!?!?!?! So now I'm going to have to spend the next few days on the phone trying to fix their incompetence. The only good thing I can see is that I'll get over my phobia of phones.

So. That's how much I hate NPower. I think I'll train thousands of hamsters to run in wheels and generate my own energy in the future. Or build solar panels, or live next to a river and set up a hydro-electric system.... any one of those seems more appealling than this mess right now.

I did have a lovely holiday, it's just so depressing to have to come back to something so horrible. It's going to take ages to sort out and it'll stay on my mind until it is well and truely sorted. Wonderful.

ZZZzzz

ZZZzzz
Hello hello hello! Long time no blog. I've been a very busy bee for the past few weeks. So much so I really can't be bothered to go back and update since my last blog. And I'm fairly sure that wouldn't be the most exciting thing for you either!

I just got back from 'dahn sahth' this afternoon. The theatre camp went really really well, full of crazy singing, games, fairies, hilarious videos, sore musscles from Go Ape, death metal dancing, sunshine and friends I haven't seen for ages. It's been amazing to get to know old friends more and make new friends and to learn more about God. It sounds silly but I always forget that God is so much bigger than I am. Whatever I think I know about the world, God knows more. That's what makes him God!

Then Tim and I met his family in Kent for his brother's wedding which was beautiful. They got married in a tiny little country church in the middle of nowhere, the scenery was gorgeous. Ellie's dress was really lovely too, she looked so fantastic, even right at the end of the night, she still looked amazing! I'll get some photos up, it was a good opportunity for me to practice my photos too! Then the reception was in a big old house, the food was great, the room was stunning and then we had a barn dance. I LOVE barn dances, Tim and I danced almost all of them. Yeah. Hard core!

Aaaaaand now back to my usual whine about work. I'm doing 8-6 every day this week. Aaarrrggghhh. It's going to destroy me! lol. But I only have this week and next week. And my wages have gone up slightly so I'm making almost minimum wage for a 22 year old. It seems really odd that the min wage of £5.25 doesn't start until 22, but there you go. It's all money either way.

I'll try and get some photos up as soon as possible, thank you to people who've commented, it does mean alot. And I promise I'll try to think of something more interesting to blog about soon. I just wanted to let you know I'm still alive! lol

Love to the masses.
xxx

Update

Well, I have eaten a lovely meal with my family; we're all back together today for the first time since mid April, I'm sitting in the living room watching a program about Disney and the Mickey Mouse Show, and I've had a good few glasses of wine. Perfect.

As I said before, alot has happened since I got home. I'll try to go through it logically!

The first thing I remember is the Pirate Day at my mum's school the week after I got home. Admitedly I had to get up at stupid-o-clock in the morning, and I didn't properly wake up until a few coffees later... but I DID get to spend a whole day dressed as a pirate! Out came most of my Jack Sparrow outfit again, the beard got painted back on and I had so much fun. Mum teaches at a special needs school and I love the pupils so much. They are so giving and to spend time with them is so refreshing. In actual fact, going back to work was really hard after that because I found myself comparing my kids to mum's and saying to myself that at least her kids have an obvious reason for being 'troublesome'. But then I realised that 'obvious' is the key word. I know very well that the children at the kids club have many reason's for their behaviour, it's just not as overt and is much easier to condemn.

So, having choked and spluttered my way through a couple of weeks of work... last weekend I went down to Birmingham with Tim's sister and loads of people I don't know for his brother's fiancee's hen-do. Sounds like a random connection but it isn't really and I got to know Ellie pretty well last year when she was in her final year at Durham. It was a wonderful weekend. Her friend and sister went to so much effort. We went to the Taste festival where we got loads of food and wine and champagne... Then we went to see Oliver and we all wore black dresses with a pink ribbon. I had mine around my waist, some had theirs in their hair, around their wrist etc. We looked really classy, not like the stereotypical hen-night thing. The following morning we had a gorgeous champagne breakfast with strawberries, pineapple, salmon on toast, yoghurt, croissants, freshly ground coffee... Yummy.

I went to see Harry Potter yesterday. I'm sure lots of people will have plenty of criticism of it... but I thought it was AMAZING!!! I had forgotten quite alot of the story which was quite good because I was so tense all the way through. At the end I was trembling with adrenaline. There's a scene at the end that I think is so powerful. And yes, I did cry. Twice.

This weekend I've been with my family cos Rich came home today. It's great to see him again, I miss him when we're away from each other. He's just as annoying as always of course. He does this thing where to everything that you say he turns it back and says 'you are...'. For example, earlier I said something like 'no you can't do that because it's broken' and he said 'you're broken'. I said 'don't start that it's annoying' and he said 'you're annoying'. And it goes on like that!

Edd crashed his car on Friday. It was his fault, but an accident as he just didn't stop in time at some lights in the terrible rain. Thankfully the others involved weren't horrible to him and the police could see from the state of him that it wasn't reckless driving or anything like that. And he's totally fine, it's just that the front of his new car is all mashed up. That's the worst part, that he's so upset because it's his new car. And he'd driven mum's for 2 and a half years with not even a scratch. But hey, these things happen.

This week I'm going hat shopping for my friend's wedding on Saturday. I'm so excited about wearing a hat to a wedding. The bride told me that I'll probably be the only one in the whole church, it's quite an informal wedding... but I don't care. I've always wanted to wear a hat to a wedding, and with the distinctive lack of hair, I think that a hat would actually look pretty good.

And of course work. I just can't separate myself from it, I get too involved. Always. Never mind. I hope this wasn't too boring, I've given up trying to write deep and meaningful blogs, I don't do or think anything deep or meaningful anymore anyways.

Hope everyone's well.
xxx

Bleak.

I often title my blogs with one word. That's a really pointless thing to say, but it's something that I just noticed.

Anyway. Today was my first day back at work. 'Work' being an afterschool and holiday kids' club for primary school kids. I had totally forgotten just how horrible some of the children are. And I know I know, you're not really supposed to say that children are horrible. Well, I'm very sorry, but some of these little buggers are just plain horrible. They show off, they are rude, insolent, manipulative, arrogant and devious. I had one delightful little boy look me in the eye today and say quite simply: 'no' when I asked him to go and sit away from the other children because he pulled a chair out from under another boy. Another boy spent a full ten minutes talking about 'poo' and 'bums' and then later on proceeded to ask me if I knew what a 'blow jab' was. No, I haven't typed it wrong, 'blow jab' is what he said. He's 10. He shouldn't know anyway. Two boys insisted on fighting for the whole evening. Most of my complaints so far are about the boys, and it's true, there are more troublesome boys than there are girls. But some of the girls are so bitchy and manipulative. For example there is one girl who will deliberately do something that is only a tiny bit wrong right in front of you so you can't really tell her off because it's not enough wrong. If you see what I mean. They are noisy and badly disciplined and there is nothing I can do about it.

It's going to be a bleak summer.

I just don't know what to do. I wish I could do something for these kids. I said to one of the staff today that kids aren't just horrible without a reason. Sometimes I can see a tiny window into their home lives and it gives me so much insight into why they are the way they are. Some children just aren't wanted. Or not wanted enough at least, and it breaks my heart. And yet I'm fighting for their respect. I keep telling myself that I'm an adult. I am older and cleverer than them. How then can they be getting the better of me?!?! And I'm not the boss, so all the things that I think should be changed have nothing to do with me. I think we should have more of a routine, we should have more planned activities, we should get the kids involved in a project, something that they are genuinely interested in. We should allow them to chose what they want to do, we should have proper games without half the pieces missing, we should let them decorate the room, we should do team games, and drama activities. AND WE SHOULD HAVE A PROPER DISCIPLINE SYSTEM. That bit is in capitals to show my utter frustration. How can we possibly expect them to behave when punishments and deterrents aren't evenly given? When they don't know what exactly they can and can't do and when sometimes the staff tell them different things?!

I got my hours today, and I only have three half days and one day off between now and the last week of August. Like I said, it is a bleak summer. I don't want this to look like I'm complaining at abit of hard work because I'm not. I'll work my ass off this summer, I'm not bothered by hard work. What I am bothered by is not being able to deal with problems that I see, because I'm not the boss, and not being able to deal with the kids the way I want to, because I'm not the boss.

I've only been back one day and already I want to quit. How am I going to last the summer? Having left Durham for the next 18 months suddenly seems very real to me and in all honesty I don't know how I'm going to cope. I miss my friends, I miss my house, I miss Durham, I even miss my bed. Yes I know the springs stuck out and it was tiny, but I slept better on it than I do on this one here.

It's going to be a bleak summer.

Change

I'm writing this on my bed in Harrogate. I have a horrible cold, my limbs ache and I have a pain in my lungs when I breathe. For that reason I am balancing a hot water bottle on my shoulder blades and I suppose that on some level that's quite funny firstly because it looks silly and secondly because it keeps getting too hot and burning me so I go 'ow ow ow' and pull it off. Then I put it back on a bit later. Hilarious.

So. Back 'home'. The big cheese that is Harrogate. Truth be told I don't like Harrogate. Sure it's a 'nice' place, but that's the problem. All the niceness is superficial and a fabulous cover-up for the same difficulties that characterise any town/city. Anyway, a rant at the rich upper-clARss of Harrogate was not my main objective in this blog.

I was going to talk about change. A subject that anyone who knows me will know that I despise. I struggle to cope when I can't go to the restaurant we had planned to go to because it's full and we didn't make reservations so we have to go somewhere else. I know that everyone finds change difficult, but for me, even the smallest change from something I was expecting or planning for seems like a monumental thing to come to terms with. I have been known to cry because my mum cooked something different for tea than what she originally planned. Call me crazy but that's me. So you can imagine how wonderful I'm feeling about the fact that I'm not going to be a student with many of my friends again, that I won't be living with many of my friends ever again, and that I have to go away again next year to a country I don't know much about with people I don't know who speak a language that is not my own. Wonderful being sarcastic here. In case you couldn't tell.

Leaving Durham yesterday was very hard. I feel like as students we live some kind of schizophrenic double life. Durham is my home. But no it isn't, Harrogate it my home. But it isn't really any more, I have a life in Durham. But I haven't really left Harrogate officially so Harrogate is my home. But... You see? Caught between two worlds. If you'll excuse the melodrama. I can't help it, I am a melodramatic person. Like it or lump it.

I don't like change. But, as I have been reminded numerous times in the last few weeks, life is all about change. It is impossible to live a life where nothing changes and, however cliched it may be, it is often those changes to make us who we are. I am scared about next year, I don't mind admitting that. A big part of me does not want to go and yet I know that it is the right thing for me to go. I don't know why but I know it is. And there are alot of good things about going away. I get to experience life in another culture, I will be teaching which will be good experience, I will learn more Spanish, I will get time away from things in England, I will get to travel around Europe abit and see more places, I will have lots of time to do things I don't have time for here for example photography and writing. You see, there are alot of good things about next year. I know that God will be with me wherever I am and whatever I'm doing and even though I am still scared, I would be more scared without that knowledge!

Big changes are always difficult. I can remember feeling so disorientated in freshers week. I had a permanent headache from the effort involved with trying to be friendly to everyone. I got so fed up of saying 'Hi I'm Kat, I'm at Mary's and I do languages'. But now, even with that difficult beginning, I love Durham and didn't want to come back here. I feel like I have changed so much since being at uni. In some ways for good and maybe in others not so good, but the point is that that huge big change I had to go through to get from sixth form to uni had to happen so that I could end up where I am. I feel like I should put some cheesy analogy here, but I can neither think of a good one, nor bring myself to write it down, so think of your own. For me, I know that any change I go through I will never have to go through alone, and I also know that somewhere down the line things will get better. It's just that the initial wrench away from what I am used to is always the hardest part.

I guess that coming home and being ill doesn't help much either!

Berlin Baby!

Well well well. I'm still here! It's been a long time since I posted anything, but that's because life in Kat-world has been crazy busy for the last two weeks. Let me start at the beginning. After all, it is a very good place to start.

After exams finished, we went off to Berlin with the chapel choir and MMV (Mary's Mixed Voices) for 4 days. I have to admit, I wasn't massively excited about going. Exams had literally just ended and I really wanted to not do very much and 'recuperate'! But I had an amazing time. It was all so so much fun. Relaxed and chilled out, but hard work at the same time because we didn't really stop the whole time we were there! The hotel was lovely and really funny because each floor had a different transport theme. Ours was cars I think and all the walls were painted with cars. The other levels were the same with an airplane, a boat, motorbikes etc. And then the stairwells had all kinds of random things like a little propeler on the airplane floor, and some of those lovely old-fashioned suitcases. Breakfast was proper German-style, ham and cheese and bread. Which I loved on the first day, but then I just wanted my toast and cornflakes back!

We sang on two evenings. The first was a joint concert of the two choirs in a beautiful and modern church that was built next to the old one which got half blown apart in the war and was never rebuilt. It was a strange sight to see half a spire rising up with the big octagonal tower of the new church next to it. Inside it was stunning because all the windows were little blue squares so there was a beautiful blue-hued atmosphere. We also sang and evensong and mass in another church with chapel choir. That was incredible! I feel so privilaged to have been able to sing in such wonderful accoustics, the sounds just hung in the air after we finished.

We also did plenty of sightseeing, got the know the underground pretty well, and just generally had fun. We generally stuck together: Tom, Ben, Andy, Matt, Rachael, Helen and myself and we had such a laugh! Tom and I were named dad and mum of the group because we took charge of the map! Ben of course was the annoying 7 year old kid who won't stay still! Here's a photo of our 'family':

So much fun. Helen was crazy aunt, Andy the 14 year old geek and Rachael the quiet 10 year old. Although it did get a little wierd being referred to as mum!

Anyway, that was pretty much Berlin, I would love to go into it more, but it's probably not that interesting for other people! For me it was a wonderful thing to end the year with. We laughed and talked and messed around and I don't remember the last time I had that much fun! I think also the fact that we were there for a purpose: to sing, made a difference. It was like there was something more holding us together than just friends on a holiday. We had a purpose. We even sang on the tube and got a clap from one woman! We sang Lonesome Road. A beautiful song that will forever remind me of Mary's choirs.

So, that was Berlin. Then last week, instead of having time to recover from that... I went off to Cumbria with the Christian Union. Again, I wasn't massively enthused about going because I just wanted to brood over the fact that I wasn't in Berlin any more! But again it turned out to be so much fun. We went with Hildbede who are a fastastic group of people and even though it rained none-stop, we had a great time. There weren't many of us either so it was really nice to get to know everyone and just generally relax and chill out. Olly, the guy who was speaking for us is an amazing guy, I learnt alot from him and he is so funny! I spent one entire lunch time just laughing and having no idea why!

It was very strange to be back at Knock though. My very first ever houseparty was at Knock with Aidans in my first term of first year. There is alot about it that I don't remember because it was so early on and I forgot so much about first term, I guess because it was all new and strange. But being back brought back so many memories and it scares me that it was all only about 18 months ago. It feels like there should be about 4 years since then. So much has happened and so much has changed in such a short space of time and it really scares me. It all links in with my feelings of terror at everything changing at the end of this year. So many of my friends are graduating this time, I'm going away for a year and when I get back most of my friends here will have graduated too.

I know that I will see people again, it's not that that scares me. It's just how everything changes now. Nothing will ever be like this again and I hate that. In one week's time I will move out of Greencroft. For ever. Yesterday we sang our last service with the choir. For ever. (It was in the cathedral though which was fitting, and beautiful) I have said goodbye to some people. For ever. I don't want to move on and change and have to make new friends and face new things. I want to stay here like this. For ever!

I know that these are rediculous things to say and that life is all about change. I also know that there are some things in my life that I can rely on being there for longer and I know that above all I can trust that God will be there for me. For ever. Having that knowledge, that no matter what happens to me, or what changes I have to go though, that God is always with me and always guiding me gives me so muc comfort. It just makes me wonder how much more petrified I would be of the future if I didn't have that.

And now that's just about the end of all my news. I hope it wasn't too boring! There is only one more week here and I hope I can make the best of it. And brace myself for the saying goodbye part.

x

It's Over.

The most important thing to say first before anything else is said is that EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!! I feel so good about it, however I am fairly confident that a little piece of my soul will forever remain in the exam rooms. Still, the sun came out just in time too! The past couple of days have been soooooo good. Thursday was chilled out, I got my ear pierced again as a reward for getting through the exams! I got my conch and daith of my right ear pierced and it looks really really good. I love them. Yay. Um. then what else did I do on Thursday? Oh yeah Heather had two friends staying over so I made a nice tea... pate and french bread, chicken stirfry with plum sauce and a chocolate cognac cake for pudding. We haven't had pudding for aaaaages so that was nice!

Friday was also chilled out. I spent two hours in the Botanic Gardens taken photos. I cannot express how much fun that was. I had never been there before, which, seeing as they are soooo beautiful is actually really bad because I've been here for two years now! But they are gorgeous. There are all sorts of really lovely flowers and trees and the garden are joined by little paths and steps and walkways. The sun was very hot and I just took photo after photo after photo. When I got home I downloaded Picasa onto my laptop and spent ages going through and changing all the little things. I used to watch my Dad doing the same thing and never quite understood the attraction, but now I'm hooked. I was thinking of posting some of them here, but I might just hang on and see if people think they are actually any good first.

Then last night I went down to the Angel which was lovely, we sat outside. And then went for chocolate fudge cake in Spoons. Which, by the way, is AMAZING chocolate cake. And I know chocolate cake. Then I met Tim and joined up with Ditt and everyone else for college bars and then Planet of Sound. Which was rubbish to begin with. I had to endure such musical attrocities as Mika, Scissor Sisters... um I actually can't remember the other ones I didn't like, I blocked them from my mind! lol. Of course he finished with SClub Reach which I do DESPISE, even though I do know all the words! And even the trance was pretty pants. But then the cheese got abit better and we had a few classics, Summer of 69, Livin on a Prayer, Mr Brightside (with actions, we taught them to Gary and he found it very funny!) Country Roads, Final Countdown. We didn't get Insomnia though which upset me, maybe it was downstairs while we were upstairs. Anyway. We ate curly fries too. Whichever genius decided to do food at Planet should get a big shiny medal.

OOOOOOHHHHH I've just remembered, I bought a wrist band with a pirate on it the yesterday too. Nicola and Ffion and Tim all told me that I am a 14 year old loser. I do not care. It makes me giggle to see the skull and crossbones on my arm because then I feel like a pirate. I've been living on an imaginery pirate ship for the past few days. I am Cap'n Kat. Aaaarrrr. I also had my first ever 'Frappe' yesterday. That word makes me laugh because it sounds like in Finding Nemo when Dory is reading the 'escape' sign and she pronounced it 'escapay'. Like frappe... no? Oh well, just me then. Anyway, it was quite nice really, I had a mocha one and it was very filling. Also I found out that all the espresso coffee, the chocolate and the vanilla in Esquires is Fairtrade so I'll be going back there again, forget the Starbucks crap we get in the DSU. Grrr to them.

So now it's Saturday. We're going to Revolver tonight, Ditt said it's rubbish but hey never been before and it'll be fun. We'll make it fun even if I have to streak. Actually I don't think that would make it fun for anyone! But I would like to do that one day, it would be hilarious! I think I might find a book and go sit outside and read for abit. I haven't read something for the fun of it for far too long. I'll blog again with something more profound than a rundown of my life at some point! I just have to think 'profound' thoughts. Oooh I hope there's some bread I really want a fried egg sandwich for breakfast/lunch. (It's quite late, I did only get in at 4!) Flip the egg over, squash the yolk and put honey woodsmoke brown sauce all over it. Yum yum yummy yum yum.

Bye.

Meh.

Ok, well I don't really have anything to say, so if that's going to bother you, then stop reading right now! And I know I know, I shouldn't bother blogging if I don't have anything to say, but as I have pointed out before, I don't do this for you, I do this because I like to write things down and that's wy I keep a journal. But sometimes typing is quicker and 'freer' because you can just let thoughts flow and if it turns out to be rubbish there is that wonderful key called 'delete'. Excellent. Well, now we have that sorted, on to the blog.

I'm still up to my eyeballs in exams so there isn't really anything that I've been 'doing' to report. So instead I think I'm just going to list some random thoughts from inside my mind. ('In my mind').

We were singing 'Lonesome Road' in choir last night and it transported me right back to last year. It was a very odd feeling. Do you ever get that, where you'll smell something, or hear somethin and suddenly you're in a totally different place? That was what happened to me last night. Lonesome Road is a beautiful song and we sang it sooo much last year when we went to Prague, it was always in our heads, so for me it's kind of the 'signature song' of last year.

I have been recommended to go see Pirates of the Carribean 3. I wasn't sure about it because the second one was good, but not as good as the first so I was a bit worried that it would be downhill again. But I have been assured that it is good and apparantly at one point there is a whole room full of Jack Sparrows. Excellent. I would love to be a pirate. I know that they go around killing people and stealing their money... but aside from that it would be amazing to be free to go anywhere on a huge ship, dance to an accordian in the moonlight, swim in the sea all the time, make friends with mermaids, drink rum by a huge fire, wear cool clothes, have a big curvy sword, introduce myself as Captain Kat. I'd love to be a pirate.

The pink dye on my hair keeps fading and it's very annoying, I like it pink though so that's a shame. But I've got a dark purple colour to try next so I hope that works. I know that at some point I'm going to go bright ginger or green or something aweful. But hey, if that happens I guess I can always just shave it all off again!

I dreamt last night that my mum had to dress up as red riding hood for something and I happened to have lots of red cloaks and hats and hoods and scarves so she was trying them all on to see what looked best. When I woke up I was convinced I was in my bedroom at home (for the second time this term, that doesn't normally happen to me!) and I'd got in late last night so hadn't seem mum and dad. I was on the verge of getting out of bed to go say hello before they went to work when I realised where I was. It's not like me to miss my parents during term time, but I guess with the stress of exams or something, I'd quite like to see them! They are coming up in about 10 days though so that's cool.

I'm looking to buy myself a really good camera. I have discovered that taking photos is really fun, relaxing, theraputic and exciting. I really enjoy trying to see things from different angles and directions and I know that none of the photos I take are actually going to be any good! But it's the same with writing, I have these emotions and this creativity inside me that I just don't know how to express most of the time. I can't draw or paint to save my life, I'm not good at making things, I like to sing but I can't very well. So I write. And when I write it feels like I'm putting a little piece of me on paper that then will stay there. It's not like talking where once you've said the words they are gone. When I write I can read it over and over. I like that. And so I've found that taking photos is quite similar. When I'm walking around I often see things and think that it would make a good photo. And I have loads of ideas for things I want to take photos of. Should get a camera first!

...aaaaaaand now it's almost 10am. I have an exam this afternoon that I'm not sure I'll make to the end. It's three hours and the thought of three hours in one room, forced to write... it makes me feel panicky! lol. I hope I'm near the door, I always feel trapped if I'm not near to an exit!

So. Hope everyone else is ok. Oh and something else, I've been listening to a story CD by Helen Fielding, it's called Olivia Joules. It's quite good. But one of the things I really like is that she has a list of 'Rules for Living' and I don't remember all of them, but these two are very good (I think these are the two that Ffion told me before too)
1. Never buy an item of clothing unless it makes you want to do a little dance.
2. No-one is thinking about you, they are thinking about themselves, just like you. (very useful when you feel stupid or awkward about something!)

I got a letter in the post today finally telling me where I'm going to be next year. I was trying very very hard to be all good and patient (after all, me getting in a strop wasn't going to make them tell me any faster!) but I am soooo glad to know now.

I'm teaching in a secondary school in a small maket town called Reinosa in the province of Cantabria in the north of Spain. It looks like a really pretty place:



I've just been looking all over the Internet for information about the place. It seems to have a long history with lots of big old buildings and churches and bridges. It's not too far away from Santander or even Bilbao if I need a city, there's the Picos de Europa national park in Cantabria as well as apparantly a ski resort... hmmm I will have to check that out! The DK eye witness travel book says: "Reinosa... is a handsome market town with old stone houses". It sounds perfect. I couldn't bare to be lost in a huge city but this isn't really in the middle of nowhere either.

I have training at the end of September and I start on the 1st October, but I still don't know how long it's for. I think until April/May. But I'll get in contact with the school soon. I found a map of the town and it felt really strange to see the road that the school is on Calle Dr Jimenz Diaz and imagine myself there next year.

To be perfectly honest, half of me doesn't really want to go away again. I know it'll be different, but I'm rubbish at being away, I get homesick pure and simple. But I'm actually starting to feel a bit of excitement now I know where I'll be. I can imagine myself there now and it feels more real. Which I had thought would scare me more, but it doesn't. Which is a good thing! Also I know a few other people who will be in Spain at the same time so I can go visit them! Unfortunately I don't think I'll come back with much of a tan, it rains alot in Cantabria and I remember when we were there in year 10 it was actually pretty cold! Ah well, I'm a tough northener I'm sure I'll cope.

I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief now. It's a good feeling.

Hunchback of Notre Dame - God Help the Outcasts (English)

Last night I watched the Hunchback of Notre Dame (Disney is amazing for escapism) and the words of this song really caught me. I know that not everyone believes in God, but this is a pretty damn good prayer either way. Here are the lyrics:
I don't know if You can hear me
Or if You're even there
I don't know if You would listen
To a gypsy's prayer
Yes, I know I'm just an outcast
I shouldn't speak to you
Still I see Your face and wonder
Were You once an outcast too?

God help the outcasts
Hungry from birth
Show them the mercy
They don't find on earth
The lost and forgotten
They look to you still
God help the outcasts
Or nobody will

I ask for weath, i ask for fame
I ask for glory to shine on my name
I ask for love, i can posess
I ask for god and his angels to bless me..

I ask for nothing
I can get by
But I know so many
Less lucky than I
Please help my people
The poor and downtrod
I thought we all were
The children of god

God help the outcasts,
Children of God...

*TOOT TOOT*

Remember my blog a while ago called 'It Matters'? Well, it still matters so read on! I also just want to add. I know that I am outspoken on this issue, it matters to much so me and I want so much for it to matter this much to everyone else. But if I offend anyone in anyway with the things that I say then please just tell me. It is completely unintended, I just want to shake people up abit, not offend them!

Today is half way between the years 2000 and 2015. It is Blow the Whistle Sunday. Why is that important I hear you ask? (I have very good hearing) Well, because in the year 2000 the 189 UN member states at the Millenium Summit in New York promised to halve world poverty by the year 2015 and although I don't pretend to be an expert on what the world governments are doing, I think we all have a responsibility to make sure they keep their promises. We all know what politicians are really like.

Here are some of the things they promised:
Hunger: more than the total population of Canada, USA and the European Union are hungry in the world. The promise is to halve this amount by 2015.
School. 115 million primary school aged children remain out of education across the world. The promise is to ensure that by 2015 all children will be able to complete primary school all over the world.
Gender equality. Two thirds of the children not in school are girls. The promise is to eliminate gender disparity in primary, secondary, and all levels of education by 2015.
Child mortality. In industrialised countries, the ration of child deaths is 7 in 1000. In sub-Saharan Africa the number is 173 per 1000 and in Asia it is 98 per 1000. The promise is to reduce by two-thirds the number of children under five who die from preventable illnesses.
Maternal health. more than 500,000 women, mostly in developping countries, die each year in childbirth. The promise is to reduce this by three-quarters by the year 2015.
HIV/AIDS, malaria and other diseases. 39.5million adults and children are living with HIV/AIDS and malaria kills more than 1million each year. The promise is to have halted and reduced the spread of these diseases by 2015.
Environment. 1.1billion people do not have access to safe drinking water. The promise is to halve this number by 2015.
Global partnership in government. the promises are to reduce debt, increase aid, develop non-discriminatory trading systems and provide good access to health care and medicine in all countries, among others.

I haven't included the progress/non-progress that is being made. The fact is that there is progress, more people do have access to safe drinking water, there has been a reported reduction in the levels of HIV/AIDS, and in some countries women are gaining more rights, there are more girls in education, and better economies in some countries have meant that hunger levels have decreased. In some areas.

But that's the point. There is progress, but it is not everywhere. The quality of education is still very poor in many countries, in sub-Saharan and Asian regions there seems to be little hope of reducing child mortality, 90% of children under the age of one have the HIV virus in sub-Saharan Africa, cases of TB are on the rise, rapid deforestation continues at alarming rates.

Please don't take this post as either positive 'oh everything's fine and the governments are doing what they said they would' or negative 'this is terrible nothing good is happening at all'. I'm just trying to lay out the information that I know to show a little bit of the picture of the state of the world. Here's website where I got all that information, please take the time just to have a look:

http://www.tearfund.org/webdocs/Website/Campaigning/BTW/The_Millennium_Development_Goals.pdf

I don't know about other people, but for me it is so easy to feel guilty about my life when I read things like this. I found another site with people's stories about the poverty-stricken lives that they lead and my first instinct was to suddenly hate all that I have. To hate the fact that I can go to university, get free health care when I need it (regardless of how useless the NHS is, at least we have one), buy the clothes that I need, and want, eat enough food every day of my life. Sometimes it makes me feel sick. But you know, I don't think we should feel like that at all. If anything the only thing that should make us feel sick is if we read all this information and then decide that it doesn't involve us, affect us, or require us to do anything about it.

That is wrong. I think that the right way to see all this is to recognise our good fortune in living where we do and having the things that we have and to get a good perspective over it all. I know that sometimes I can't afford necessary things, I know that when I leave university I will have thousands of pounds of debt, and I know that I will really really struggle to get on the property ladder. But I will never have to be afraid of dying from a cold, or contracting TB from the water, or fear that because of my beliefs I could be captured and tortured by a faceless army, or worry about where my next meal will come from.

And because of that I can do something. I can remind the government of what they promised in 2000, I can sign petitions, I can tell people what I know, I can be careful where I spend my money, I can support charities and organisations that never give up fighting for basic human rights, I can not become so buried in my 'Western' life that I forget there are millions and millions and millions of people in the world who would give anything to be in my shoes, and I can remember to check my attitude so that I don't become complacent about life. About my life and other people's lives.

I want to finish with a quote from Neslon Mandela:
"Like slavery and apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made and it can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings. And overcoming poverty is not a gesture of charity. It is an act of justice. It is the protection of a fundamental human right, the right to dignity and a decent life."

Blow the Whistle Sunday. What are you doing to help the governments in their promise to halve world poverty by 2015?

An update.

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...ooo...oooooo...o..o

That was a little man falling off a cliff.

This blog is coming to you from my bed, in my pyjamas, watching Scrubs and not thinking about exams. Ok, so maybe I am thinking about exams a little bit! But seriously, who isn't? Even people who don't have exams at the moment have to think about them because everyone else is. Exams are nasty little buggers. They make people stress, cry, shout, get angry, feel rubbish, stress, lose sleep, worry, stress... did I say stress? I hate exams. For me, it's a stupid way to test what I know because I always go blank in exams. I'll write really hard for say half an hour and then suddenly I go blank. And I'll sit there trying to remember who I am, why I'm there and what I'm supposed to be doing. Hate it.

But as I said, everyone hates exams, so I'm not going to talk about them.

I got the top of my ear pierced yesterday, it was National Piercing Day I was forced to! lol. It looks really good and it didn't even hurt in the night, I managed to not sleep on my left side all night which was good. I'm going to dye my hair bright pink soon too. You may think I've suddenly gone mad. Maybe I have. But to be honest I don't care. I have never had to courage to do anything different like this, and I don't really know where it's come from this time. Maybe it's to do with the fact that once you manage to do one brave thing, it gets easier after that. I have always wanted to do crazy things with my hair, but I just didn't have the guts. Strangely, shaving it all off didn't feel like a difficult thing to do, but the great thing is that now I can do whatever I like. One of the best things about it is that I feel like I can express something of the inside me on the outside.

For as long as I can remember I've struggled to properly define myself. I've said this before, but I used to think of myself as two different people, Kat and Katherine. I guess I still do in some ways, and there's so much about me that I don't understand. I think that being able to explore that on the outside is really great and I feel like I can look in the mirror and at least see somethings that look good!

Oooh this has turned quite personal, I genuinely didn't mean it to, I was going to write about something really daft to get as far away from the 'E' word as possible! Tim and I have our 5 year anniversary on Friday. Every year I've said this but I can't believe it's that long. Looking back it shocks me how young I was when I was 16. But I'm sure that in 5 years time I'll look back and think how young I was at 21.

Pants, I just looked at the time, it's 9.30am I really really need to get up and dressed and get on with some work. Urgh. I'm fed up with it and I know it's not long to go now, and I know I have no choice but to keep going. But it's sooooo hard. I just want it to be over. But then who doesn't?

Appologies again for the boringness of this, but hey if you don't like it, don't read it. I don't write it for you anyway.

Bye.

blurgh blurgh blurgh.

So. I am really pleased with myself right now. I'm half dead from lack of sleep because I cough solidly for two hours before I can get to sleep at night, and I'm half starved after having eaten only soup for 5 days. But inspite of that, I have managed to get 4 hours of good revision done this afternoon. I concentrated for the whole time too! And now I'm rewarding myself for all my good work by binging on Scrubs. Yay! I get series 5 soon too, and when I do I'm locking myself in my room until it's all watched! Hee hee.

Other than revision not alot has happening this week. I got my tongue pierced! That was exciting, and it will be exciting once the pain has gone, and I can talk and eat properly! .... I'm trying really really hard to think of something else that has happened and I really really can't. That's how boring my life is at the moment. Maybe I should go back to living in a dream world, it's more fun there. Did anyone else ever read the Faraway Tree Stories? I loved them. I wanted so so much to live in their little cottage on the edge of the Enchanted Forest. And I would go up the tree every day to visit Moonface, go down the slippery slip, dodge out of the way of Dame Wash-a-Lot's dirty water, and poke my head through the hole in the cloud at the top of the tree to see what land was there. If it was a good one, like the ones where you could get anything you wanted, or the one with the wizards, the little floating island where the Saucepan Man lives... um, as you can tell, I loved those books.

Ahem. So. Errr... back to reality. My first exam isn't until Saturday which is good because I get more time to revise, but also more time to stress. Yeah, so I've been pretty worried about exams so far. In my head I know that I will be fine, I have done enough work... but at the same time I'm scared. Don't know why. But right now I'm ok because I'm watching Scrubs. I hadn't watched a single episode all term, which I was really proud of because I think I got a little over-addicted at Easter. I don't know, watching 3 or 4 hours solidly ever day? Hhhmm yeah I think so. So now I have to be really careful now!

Right. Well, this blog is a load of rubbish, that doesn't actually say anything sensible. I hope everyone else is happy. Bye bye!


Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world.
She took the midnight train going anywhere.
Just a city boy, born and raised in Detroit
He took the midnight train going anywhere.

Journey, Small Town Girl. (it was just on Scrubs!)

Hhhmmmnnn...

Right. Well, I need to totally go against something I said in my last blog about materialism. I said that I thought I could cope if I lost all my possessions because they aren't the most important things in my life. I still think that's true, but I realised just how difficult that is when it involves sentimental objects. Presents, memories, souvenirs, things that remind you of a person/place/time etc.

To be more specific, on the train on Saturday, I caught my watch on one of the chairs. When I sat down I realised it was loose and I thought the catch had come undone, it does that sometimes. I was surprised therefore to see that the catch was still done up. The strap, however, had come away from the watch face. I was stunned. That meant my watch was broken. Looking around I found one of the pieces that had fallen out, but I couldn't find the pin that held it all together. My beautiful watch was broken. It was all I could do not to cry. It's not just a watch, it's a watch that Tim gave to me three years ago for our second anniversary. I remember when he gave it to me, it was such a surprise because we don't usually make a big deal of things like anniversaries, but this was just before I went to Peru, and he said that everytime I looked at the time I would think of him. Which I did of course! So you see the watche means so much more to me than just telling the time. And now it is broken. I went back to Tim's on the way from the station and burst into tears on his doorstep. He probably thought I'd been attacked or something.

So, I must appologise for what I said. I can't actually remember the last time I lost or broke something so personally important, so I'd forgotten what it feels like. And I guess it's harder than I realised not to be attached, or even defines by what I own. I'm not saying that I think it's a bad thing I am upset over the watch, if I wasn't upset I think it would mean that the watch wasn't as important to me. All I'm saying is that I realised it's not as simple as it sounds to not place too much value on possessions.

In other news, I have my Spanish oral in about 2 hours, fun fun fun. I'm 'listening' to Spanish radio now in preparation! Though I don't understand much, radios are so fast! But although I have butterflies in my tummy, I'm not too nervous, orals generally pose the least problems for me. I'm sure it will be fine. Much more exciting news is that I went to see Phantom of the Opera on Friday. In London!!!!!!!!!! It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo exciting, I practically hyperventilated and at the end when I said I was speechless, my friend commented that it must have been amazing to leave even me without words! Everything was incredible, I love the story and the music anyway, but on stage! The sets were awesome, so clever and there were magical illusions, the singing was stunning, the acting, costumes, orchesrtra... everything was amazing. It was one of the highlights of my life and that is no exaggeration. It's always been my favourite musical, the story is so full of passion and intensity. And yes, I cried at the end. Quite alot! It was so so good.

Aaaaaaaand that's all folks. Wish my luck with my Spanish oral exam!
Hasta luego.
x x x

Measring Life.

Ok, you'll have to bear with me for a moment or two while I get to my point in quite a round-a-bout way.

A few days ago I was walking back home up the not-so-steep hill (as in Potter's Bank) and just about half way up there was a derelict house that got bulldozed earlier this week. We all got abit of a shock when we first saw the pile of rubble with a digger sitting motionless ontop like an eagle protecting it's recent kill. Poor house, it was very sad. Just the other day as I was walking past it, I started thinking about what it would be like to lose a house unintentionally as it were. What about if my house just fell down, or burnt up, or someone stole everything from inside... I don't really think I'm much of a materialistic person, I don't put a great deal of importance on possessions (anyone who's seen the relatively small amount of stuff I own could guess that!) but how would I feel if everything was gone? I thought of Elliot from Scrubs who has the van with all of her things in it stolen. She says to JD that it's just stuff and it doesn't matter, but when he goes round to see her he realises she was just too upset to say the truth. That to her it wasn't just stuff, it was her whole life.

But how do you measure a whole life in just stuff? If someone who didn't know me looked through all of my things, would they get an idea of what kind of person I am? I remember when I first got to Mary's last year. I was in a shared room and my roommate wasn't there but all her things were unpacked. Me and my Dad looked around to see if we could find anything out about her, we discovered she was Chinese (from photos) and was small (from a pair of jeans on her bed) and that she had tons of stuff (she had 3 big suitcases). Anyone who's met Vivian will know that this is a rubbish description of her because although she is all of those things, that isn't how I would describe her. She's one of the loveliest people I've ever met and a few material possessions could never express that. I like to think that I would be ok if for whatever reason I lost all of my things one day. I can't say I wouldn't be upset, I don't know how I would react. But in my life there are so many more important things to me than how many pairs of jeans I have, or how many books I have, or what kind of laptop I have. Although my journals are a bit different... when I was younger I used to leave them all in a pile on the floor every night in case there was a fire, then I could chuck them out of the window. I feel like some of the most important events of my life are in those books and I would be heartbroken to ever lose them.

My point then, eventually reached, was to ask how you would measure your life? How do you quantify your existence? By the number of achievements? failures? boyfriends? holidays? grades? friends? money? possessions? I never used to understand that bit in the Bible that says to store treasure in heaven because everything on earth will eventually rot or fade away. I didn't understand any kind of treasure other then expensive material goods. But what I think it means is make sure you don't ever define yourself by what you have. You should always define yourself by who you are. It's difficult sometimes. I remember hearing a song, I'm going to put the lyrics at the end, when I was in Canada. It's called Seasons of Love and doesn't completely explain what I'm trying to say, but it talks about how you would measure a year. I thought this was interesting. How would I 'measure' a Year In The Life Of Kat? The song gives the following options... daylight, midnights, sunsets, cups of coffee, inches, miles, laughter or strife... are any of those things that I could measure my life with?

I don't really know. I think so, sometimes I think about a particular year and remember that there seemed to be alot of hard things, or good things, or upsetting things. Have you ever seen Hercules? The people of Thebes are lamenting how aweful their existence is, recalling the earthquake, the flood, the fire, that they're bound to get a plague of locusts next their luck is that bad! But that's such a negative way of looking at things! I know that the 'point' (if there ever really was one) of this blog has kind of drifted, to be honest I'm just typing and seeing where it goes! But I think that the point is something like this: to make sure that no matter what happens in life, we don't lose sight of what really matters, the things that we really do define ourselves by, and the things that we really can't live without. Sometimes it's easy to take very good care of material possessions and forget that they don't give us anything in return. They don't make us who we are.

Anyway, this sounded better in my head than it does on screen! Here's the song all the same: (oh and it is dead cheesy so be prepared!!!)

five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure? measure a year

in daylights,
in sunsets,
in midnights,
in cups of coffee,
in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife

in five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure a year in a life?

how about love?
how about love?
how about love?
measure in love...
seasons of love...
seasons of love...

(female soloist)
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan
five hundred twenty five thousand suix hundred minutes
how do you measure a life of a woman or a man

(male soloist)
in truths that she learned
or in times that she cried
in bridges he burned
or the way that she died

(all)
its time now to sing out though
the story never ends
let's celebrate remember a year in a life
of friends

remember the love...
(oh you gotta remember the love)
remember the love...
(oh yeah, its a gift from up above)
remember the love...
(sing out, give out, measure your life
in looooooove...!!!)
seasons of love...
seasons of love...