Ok, well I don't really have anything to say, so if that's going to bother you, then stop reading right now! And I know I know, I shouldn't bother blogging if I don't have anything to say, but as I have pointed out before, I don't do this for you, I do this because I like to write things down and that's wy I keep a journal. But sometimes typing is quicker and 'freer' because you can just let thoughts flow and if it turns out to be rubbish there is that wonderful key called 'delete'. Excellent. Well, now we have that sorted, on to the blog.
I'm still up to my eyeballs in exams so there isn't really anything that I've been 'doing' to report. So instead I think I'm just going to list some random thoughts from inside my mind. ('In my mind').
We were singing 'Lonesome Road' in choir last night and it transported me right back to last year. It was a very odd feeling. Do you ever get that, where you'll smell something, or hear somethin and suddenly you're in a totally different place? That was what happened to me last night. Lonesome Road is a beautiful song and we sang it sooo much last year when we went to Prague, it was always in our heads, so for me it's kind of the 'signature song' of last year.
I have been recommended to go see Pirates of the Carribean 3. I wasn't sure about it because the second one was good, but not as good as the first so I was a bit worried that it would be downhill again. But I have been assured that it is good and apparantly at one point there is a whole room full of Jack Sparrows. Excellent. I would love to be a pirate. I know that they go around killing people and stealing their money... but aside from that it would be amazing to be free to go anywhere on a huge ship, dance to an accordian in the moonlight, swim in the sea all the time, make friends with mermaids, drink rum by a huge fire, wear cool clothes, have a big curvy sword, introduce myself as Captain Kat. I'd love to be a pirate.
The pink dye on my hair keeps fading and it's very annoying, I like it pink though so that's a shame. But I've got a dark purple colour to try next so I hope that works. I know that at some point I'm going to go bright ginger or green or something aweful. But hey, if that happens I guess I can always just shave it all off again!
I dreamt last night that my mum had to dress up as red riding hood for something and I happened to have lots of red cloaks and hats and hoods and scarves so she was trying them all on to see what looked best. When I woke up I was convinced I was in my bedroom at home (for the second time this term, that doesn't normally happen to me!) and I'd got in late last night so hadn't seem mum and dad. I was on the verge of getting out of bed to go say hello before they went to work when I realised where I was. It's not like me to miss my parents during term time, but I guess with the stress of exams or something, I'd quite like to see them! They are coming up in about 10 days though so that's cool.
I'm looking to buy myself a really good camera. I have discovered that taking photos is really fun, relaxing, theraputic and exciting. I really enjoy trying to see things from different angles and directions and I know that none of the photos I take are actually going to be any good! But it's the same with writing, I have these emotions and this creativity inside me that I just don't know how to express most of the time. I can't draw or paint to save my life, I'm not good at making things, I like to sing but I can't very well. So I write. And when I write it feels like I'm putting a little piece of me on paper that then will stay there. It's not like talking where once you've said the words they are gone. When I write I can read it over and over. I like that. And so I've found that taking photos is quite similar. When I'm walking around I often see things and think that it would make a good photo. And I have loads of ideas for things I want to take photos of. Should get a camera first!
...aaaaaaand now it's almost 10am. I have an exam this afternoon that I'm not sure I'll make to the end. It's three hours and the thought of three hours in one room, forced to write... it makes me feel panicky! lol. I hope I'm near the door, I always feel trapped if I'm not near to an exit!
So. Hope everyone else is ok. Oh and something else, I've been listening to a story CD by Helen Fielding, it's called Olivia Joules. It's quite good. But one of the things I really like is that she has a list of 'Rules for Living' and I don't remember all of them, but these two are very good (I think these are the two that Ffion told me before too)
1. Never buy an item of clothing unless it makes you want to do a little dance.
2. No-one is thinking about you, they are thinking about themselves, just like you. (very useful when you feel stupid or awkward about something!)
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
I got a letter in the post today finally telling me where I'm going to be next year. I was trying very very hard to be all good and patient (after all, me getting in a strop wasn't going to make them tell me any faster!) but I am soooo glad to know now.
I'm teaching in a secondary school in a small maket town called Reinosa in the province of Cantabria in the north of Spain. It looks like a really pretty place:
I've just been looking all over the Internet for information about the place. It seems to have a long history with lots of big old buildings and churches and bridges. It's not too far away from Santander or even Bilbao if I need a city, there's the Picos de Europa national park in Cantabria as well as apparantly a ski resort... hmmm I will have to check that out! The DK eye witness travel book says: "Reinosa... is a handsome market town with old stone houses". It sounds perfect. I couldn't bare to be lost in a huge city but this isn't really in the middle of nowhere either.
I have training at the end of September and I start on the 1st October, but I still don't know how long it's for. I think until April/May. But I'll get in contact with the school soon. I found a map of the town and it felt really strange to see the road that the school is on Calle Dr Jimenz Diaz and imagine myself there next year.
To be perfectly honest, half of me doesn't really want to go away again. I know it'll be different, but I'm rubbish at being away, I get homesick pure and simple. But I'm actually starting to feel a bit of excitement now I know where I'll be. I can imagine myself there now and it feels more real. Which I had thought would scare me more, but it doesn't. Which is a good thing! Also I know a few other people who will be in Spain at the same time so I can go visit them! Unfortunately I don't think I'll come back with much of a tan, it rains alot in Cantabria and I remember when we were there in year 10 it was actually pretty cold! Ah well, I'm a tough northener I'm sure I'll cope.
I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief now. It's a good feeling.
I'm teaching in a secondary school in a small maket town called Reinosa in the province of Cantabria in the north of Spain. It looks like a really pretty place:
I've just been looking all over the Internet for information about the place. It seems to have a long history with lots of big old buildings and churches and bridges. It's not too far away from Santander or even Bilbao if I need a city, there's the Picos de Europa national park in Cantabria as well as apparantly a ski resort... hmmm I will have to check that out! The DK eye witness travel book says: "Reinosa... is a handsome market town with old stone houses". It sounds perfect. I couldn't bare to be lost in a huge city but this isn't really in the middle of nowhere either.
I have training at the end of September and I start on the 1st October, but I still don't know how long it's for. I think until April/May. But I'll get in contact with the school soon. I found a map of the town and it felt really strange to see the road that the school is on Calle Dr Jimenz Diaz and imagine myself there next year.
To be perfectly honest, half of me doesn't really want to go away again. I know it'll be different, but I'm rubbish at being away, I get homesick pure and simple. But I'm actually starting to feel a bit of excitement now I know where I'll be. I can imagine myself there now and it feels more real. Which I had thought would scare me more, but it doesn't. Which is a good thing! Also I know a few other people who will be in Spain at the same time so I can go visit them! Unfortunately I don't think I'll come back with much of a tan, it rains alot in Cantabria and I remember when we were there in year 10 it was actually pretty cold! Ah well, I'm a tough northener I'm sure I'll cope.
I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief now. It's a good feeling.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Hunchback of Notre Dame - God Help the Outcasts (English)
Last night I watched the Hunchback of Notre Dame (Disney is amazing for escapism) and the words of this song really caught me. I know that not everyone believes in God, but this is a pretty damn good prayer either way. Here are the lyrics:
I don't know if You can hear me
Or if You're even there
I don't know if You would listen
To a gypsy's prayer
Yes, I know I'm just an outcast
I shouldn't speak to you
Still I see Your face and wonder
Were You once an outcast too?
God help the outcasts
Hungry from birth
Show them the mercy
They don't find on earth
The lost and forgotten
They look to you still
God help the outcasts
Or nobody will
I ask for weath, i ask for fame
I ask for glory to shine on my name
I ask for love, i can posess
I ask for god and his angels to bless me..
I ask for nothing
I can get by
But I know so many
Less lucky than I
Please help my people
The poor and downtrod
I thought we all were
The children of god
God help the outcasts,
Children of God...
Sunday, May 20, 2007
*TOOT TOOT*
Remember my blog a while ago called 'It Matters'? Well, it still matters so read on! I also just want to add. I know that I am outspoken on this issue, it matters to much so me and I want so much for it to matter this much to everyone else. But if I offend anyone in anyway with the things that I say then please just tell me. It is completely unintended, I just want to shake people up abit, not offend them!
Today is half way between the years 2000 and 2015. It is Blow the Whistle Sunday. Why is that important I hear you ask? (I have very good hearing) Well, because in the year 2000 the 189 UN member states at the Millenium Summit in New York promised to halve world poverty by the year 2015 and although I don't pretend to be an expert on what the world governments are doing, I think we all have a responsibility to make sure they keep their promises. We all know what politicians are really like.
Here are some of the things they promised:
Hunger: more than the total population of Canada, USA and the European Union are hungry in the world. The promise is to halve this amount by 2015.
School. 115 million primary school aged children remain out of education across the world. The promise is to ensure that by 2015 all children will be able to complete primary school all over the world.
Gender equality. Two thirds of the children not in school are girls. The promise is to eliminate gender disparity in primary, secondary, and all levels of education by 2015.
Child mortality. In industrialised countries, the ration of child deaths is 7 in 1000. In sub-Saharan Africa the number is 173 per 1000 and in Asia it is 98 per 1000. The promise is to reduce by two-thirds the number of children under five who die from preventable illnesses.
Maternal health. more than 500,000 women, mostly in developping countries, die each year in childbirth. The promise is to reduce this by three-quarters by the year 2015.
HIV/AIDS, malaria and other diseases. 39.5million adults and children are living with HIV/AIDS and malaria kills more than 1million each year. The promise is to have halted and reduced the spread of these diseases by 2015.
Environment. 1.1billion people do not have access to safe drinking water. The promise is to halve this number by 2015.
Global partnership in government. the promises are to reduce debt, increase aid, develop non-discriminatory trading systems and provide good access to health care and medicine in all countries, among others.
I haven't included the progress/non-progress that is being made. The fact is that there is progress, more people do have access to safe drinking water, there has been a reported reduction in the levels of HIV/AIDS, and in some countries women are gaining more rights, there are more girls in education, and better economies in some countries have meant that hunger levels have decreased. In some areas.
But that's the point. There is progress, but it is not everywhere. The quality of education is still very poor in many countries, in sub-Saharan and Asian regions there seems to be little hope of reducing child mortality, 90% of children under the age of one have the HIV virus in sub-Saharan Africa, cases of TB are on the rise, rapid deforestation continues at alarming rates.
Please don't take this post as either positive 'oh everything's fine and the governments are doing what they said they would' or negative 'this is terrible nothing good is happening at all'. I'm just trying to lay out the information that I know to show a little bit of the picture of the state of the world. Here's website where I got all that information, please take the time just to have a look:
http://www.tearfund.org/webdocs/Website/Campaigning/BTW/The_Millennium_Development_Goals.pdf
I don't know about other people, but for me it is so easy to feel guilty about my life when I read things like this. I found another site with people's stories about the poverty-stricken lives that they lead and my first instinct was to suddenly hate all that I have. To hate the fact that I can go to university, get free health care when I need it (regardless of how useless the NHS is, at least we have one), buy the clothes that I need, and want, eat enough food every day of my life. Sometimes it makes me feel sick. But you know, I don't think we should feel like that at all. If anything the only thing that should make us feel sick is if we read all this information and then decide that it doesn't involve us, affect us, or require us to do anything about it.
That is wrong. I think that the right way to see all this is to recognise our good fortune in living where we do and having the things that we have and to get a good perspective over it all. I know that sometimes I can't afford necessary things, I know that when I leave university I will have thousands of pounds of debt, and I know that I will really really struggle to get on the property ladder. But I will never have to be afraid of dying from a cold, or contracting TB from the water, or fear that because of my beliefs I could be captured and tortured by a faceless army, or worry about where my next meal will come from.
And because of that I can do something. I can remind the government of what they promised in 2000, I can sign petitions, I can tell people what I know, I can be careful where I spend my money, I can support charities and organisations that never give up fighting for basic human rights, I can not become so buried in my 'Western' life that I forget there are millions and millions and millions of people in the world who would give anything to be in my shoes, and I can remember to check my attitude so that I don't become complacent about life. About my life and other people's lives.
I want to finish with a quote from Neslon Mandela:
"Like slavery and apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made and it can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings. And overcoming poverty is not a gesture of charity. It is an act of justice. It is the protection of a fundamental human right, the right to dignity and a decent life."
Blow the Whistle Sunday. What are you doing to help the governments in their promise to halve world poverty by 2015?
Today is half way between the years 2000 and 2015. It is Blow the Whistle Sunday. Why is that important I hear you ask? (I have very good hearing) Well, because in the year 2000 the 189 UN member states at the Millenium Summit in New York promised to halve world poverty by the year 2015 and although I don't pretend to be an expert on what the world governments are doing, I think we all have a responsibility to make sure they keep their promises. We all know what politicians are really like.
Here are some of the things they promised:
Hunger: more than the total population of Canada, USA and the European Union are hungry in the world. The promise is to halve this amount by 2015.
School. 115 million primary school aged children remain out of education across the world. The promise is to ensure that by 2015 all children will be able to complete primary school all over the world.
Gender equality. Two thirds of the children not in school are girls. The promise is to eliminate gender disparity in primary, secondary, and all levels of education by 2015.
Child mortality. In industrialised countries, the ration of child deaths is 7 in 1000. In sub-Saharan Africa the number is 173 per 1000 and in Asia it is 98 per 1000. The promise is to reduce by two-thirds the number of children under five who die from preventable illnesses.
Maternal health. more than 500,000 women, mostly in developping countries, die each year in childbirth. The promise is to reduce this by three-quarters by the year 2015.
HIV/AIDS, malaria and other diseases. 39.5million adults and children are living with HIV/AIDS and malaria kills more than 1million each year. The promise is to have halted and reduced the spread of these diseases by 2015.
Environment. 1.1billion people do not have access to safe drinking water. The promise is to halve this number by 2015.
Global partnership in government. the promises are to reduce debt, increase aid, develop non-discriminatory trading systems and provide good access to health care and medicine in all countries, among others.
I haven't included the progress/non-progress that is being made. The fact is that there is progress, more people do have access to safe drinking water, there has been a reported reduction in the levels of HIV/AIDS, and in some countries women are gaining more rights, there are more girls in education, and better economies in some countries have meant that hunger levels have decreased. In some areas.
But that's the point. There is progress, but it is not everywhere. The quality of education is still very poor in many countries, in sub-Saharan and Asian regions there seems to be little hope of reducing child mortality, 90% of children under the age of one have the HIV virus in sub-Saharan Africa, cases of TB are on the rise, rapid deforestation continues at alarming rates.
Please don't take this post as either positive 'oh everything's fine and the governments are doing what they said they would' or negative 'this is terrible nothing good is happening at all'. I'm just trying to lay out the information that I know to show a little bit of the picture of the state of the world. Here's website where I got all that information, please take the time just to have a look:
http://www.tearfund.org/webdocs/Website/Campaigning/BTW/The_Millennium_Development_Goals.pdf
I don't know about other people, but for me it is so easy to feel guilty about my life when I read things like this. I found another site with people's stories about the poverty-stricken lives that they lead and my first instinct was to suddenly hate all that I have. To hate the fact that I can go to university, get free health care when I need it (regardless of how useless the NHS is, at least we have one), buy the clothes that I need, and want, eat enough food every day of my life. Sometimes it makes me feel sick. But you know, I don't think we should feel like that at all. If anything the only thing that should make us feel sick is if we read all this information and then decide that it doesn't involve us, affect us, or require us to do anything about it.
That is wrong. I think that the right way to see all this is to recognise our good fortune in living where we do and having the things that we have and to get a good perspective over it all. I know that sometimes I can't afford necessary things, I know that when I leave university I will have thousands of pounds of debt, and I know that I will really really struggle to get on the property ladder. But I will never have to be afraid of dying from a cold, or contracting TB from the water, or fear that because of my beliefs I could be captured and tortured by a faceless army, or worry about where my next meal will come from.
And because of that I can do something. I can remind the government of what they promised in 2000, I can sign petitions, I can tell people what I know, I can be careful where I spend my money, I can support charities and organisations that never give up fighting for basic human rights, I can not become so buried in my 'Western' life that I forget there are millions and millions and millions of people in the world who would give anything to be in my shoes, and I can remember to check my attitude so that I don't become complacent about life. About my life and other people's lives.
I want to finish with a quote from Neslon Mandela:
"Like slavery and apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made and it can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings. And overcoming poverty is not a gesture of charity. It is an act of justice. It is the protection of a fundamental human right, the right to dignity and a decent life."
Blow the Whistle Sunday. What are you doing to help the governments in their promise to halve world poverty by 2015?
Thursday, May 17, 2007
An update.
Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...ooo...oooooo...o..o
That was a little man falling off a cliff.
This blog is coming to you from my bed, in my pyjamas, watching Scrubs and not thinking about exams. Ok, so maybe I am thinking about exams a little bit! But seriously, who isn't? Even people who don't have exams at the moment have to think about them because everyone else is. Exams are nasty little buggers. They make people stress, cry, shout, get angry, feel rubbish, stress, lose sleep, worry, stress... did I say stress? I hate exams. For me, it's a stupid way to test what I know because I always go blank in exams. I'll write really hard for say half an hour and then suddenly I go blank. And I'll sit there trying to remember who I am, why I'm there and what I'm supposed to be doing. Hate it.
But as I said, everyone hates exams, so I'm not going to talk about them.
I got the top of my ear pierced yesterday, it was National Piercing Day I was forced to! lol. It looks really good and it didn't even hurt in the night, I managed to not sleep on my left side all night which was good. I'm going to dye my hair bright pink soon too. You may think I've suddenly gone mad. Maybe I have. But to be honest I don't care. I have never had to courage to do anything different like this, and I don't really know where it's come from this time. Maybe it's to do with the fact that once you manage to do one brave thing, it gets easier after that. I have always wanted to do crazy things with my hair, but I just didn't have the guts. Strangely, shaving it all off didn't feel like a difficult thing to do, but the great thing is that now I can do whatever I like. One of the best things about it is that I feel like I can express something of the inside me on the outside.
For as long as I can remember I've struggled to properly define myself. I've said this before, but I used to think of myself as two different people, Kat and Katherine. I guess I still do in some ways, and there's so much about me that I don't understand. I think that being able to explore that on the outside is really great and I feel like I can look in the mirror and at least see somethings that look good!
Oooh this has turned quite personal, I genuinely didn't mean it to, I was going to write about something really daft to get as far away from the 'E' word as possible! Tim and I have our 5 year anniversary on Friday. Every year I've said this but I can't believe it's that long. Looking back it shocks me how young I was when I was 16. But I'm sure that in 5 years time I'll look back and think how young I was at 21.
Pants, I just looked at the time, it's 9.30am I really really need to get up and dressed and get on with some work. Urgh. I'm fed up with it and I know it's not long to go now, and I know I have no choice but to keep going. But it's sooooo hard. I just want it to be over. But then who doesn't?
Appologies again for the boringness of this, but hey if you don't like it, don't read it. I don't write it for you anyway.
Bye.
That was a little man falling off a cliff.
This blog is coming to you from my bed, in my pyjamas, watching Scrubs and not thinking about exams. Ok, so maybe I am thinking about exams a little bit! But seriously, who isn't? Even people who don't have exams at the moment have to think about them because everyone else is. Exams are nasty little buggers. They make people stress, cry, shout, get angry, feel rubbish, stress, lose sleep, worry, stress... did I say stress? I hate exams. For me, it's a stupid way to test what I know because I always go blank in exams. I'll write really hard for say half an hour and then suddenly I go blank. And I'll sit there trying to remember who I am, why I'm there and what I'm supposed to be doing. Hate it.
But as I said, everyone hates exams, so I'm not going to talk about them.
I got the top of my ear pierced yesterday, it was National Piercing Day I was forced to! lol. It looks really good and it didn't even hurt in the night, I managed to not sleep on my left side all night which was good. I'm going to dye my hair bright pink soon too. You may think I've suddenly gone mad. Maybe I have. But to be honest I don't care. I have never had to courage to do anything different like this, and I don't really know where it's come from this time. Maybe it's to do with the fact that once you manage to do one brave thing, it gets easier after that. I have always wanted to do crazy things with my hair, but I just didn't have the guts. Strangely, shaving it all off didn't feel like a difficult thing to do, but the great thing is that now I can do whatever I like. One of the best things about it is that I feel like I can express something of the inside me on the outside.
For as long as I can remember I've struggled to properly define myself. I've said this before, but I used to think of myself as two different people, Kat and Katherine. I guess I still do in some ways, and there's so much about me that I don't understand. I think that being able to explore that on the outside is really great and I feel like I can look in the mirror and at least see somethings that look good!
Oooh this has turned quite personal, I genuinely didn't mean it to, I was going to write about something really daft to get as far away from the 'E' word as possible! Tim and I have our 5 year anniversary on Friday. Every year I've said this but I can't believe it's that long. Looking back it shocks me how young I was when I was 16. But I'm sure that in 5 years time I'll look back and think how young I was at 21.
Pants, I just looked at the time, it's 9.30am I really really need to get up and dressed and get on with some work. Urgh. I'm fed up with it and I know it's not long to go now, and I know I have no choice but to keep going. But it's sooooo hard. I just want it to be over. But then who doesn't?
Appologies again for the boringness of this, but hey if you don't like it, don't read it. I don't write it for you anyway.
Bye.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
blurgh blurgh blurgh.
So. I am really pleased with myself right now. I'm half dead from lack of sleep because I cough solidly for two hours before I can get to sleep at night, and I'm half starved after having eaten only soup for 5 days. But inspite of that, I have managed to get 4 hours of good revision done this afternoon. I concentrated for the whole time too! And now I'm rewarding myself for all my good work by binging on Scrubs. Yay! I get series 5 soon too, and when I do I'm locking myself in my room until it's all watched! Hee hee.
Other than revision not alot has happening this week. I got my tongue pierced! That was exciting, and it will be exciting once the pain has gone, and I can talk and eat properly! .... I'm trying really really hard to think of something else that has happened and I really really can't. That's how boring my life is at the moment. Maybe I should go back to living in a dream world, it's more fun there. Did anyone else ever read the Faraway Tree Stories? I loved them. I wanted so so much to live in their little cottage on the edge of the Enchanted Forest. And I would go up the tree every day to visit Moonface, go down the slippery slip, dodge out of the way of Dame Wash-a-Lot's dirty water, and poke my head through the hole in the cloud at the top of the tree to see what land was there. If it was a good one, like the ones where you could get anything you wanted, or the one with the wizards, the little floating island where the Saucepan Man lives... um, as you can tell, I loved those books.
Ahem. So. Errr... back to reality. My first exam isn't until Saturday which is good because I get more time to revise, but also more time to stress. Yeah, so I've been pretty worried about exams so far. In my head I know that I will be fine, I have done enough work... but at the same time I'm scared. Don't know why. But right now I'm ok because I'm watching Scrubs. I hadn't watched a single episode all term, which I was really proud of because I think I got a little over-addicted at Easter. I don't know, watching 3 or 4 hours solidly ever day? Hhhmm yeah I think so. So now I have to be really careful now!
Right. Well, this blog is a load of rubbish, that doesn't actually say anything sensible. I hope everyone else is happy. Bye bye!
Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world.
She took the midnight train going anywhere.
Just a city boy, born and raised in Detroit
He took the midnight train going anywhere.
Journey, Small Town Girl. (it was just on Scrubs!)
Other than revision not alot has happening this week. I got my tongue pierced! That was exciting, and it will be exciting once the pain has gone, and I can talk and eat properly! .... I'm trying really really hard to think of something else that has happened and I really really can't. That's how boring my life is at the moment. Maybe I should go back to living in a dream world, it's more fun there. Did anyone else ever read the Faraway Tree Stories? I loved them. I wanted so so much to live in their little cottage on the edge of the Enchanted Forest. And I would go up the tree every day to visit Moonface, go down the slippery slip, dodge out of the way of Dame Wash-a-Lot's dirty water, and poke my head through the hole in the cloud at the top of the tree to see what land was there. If it was a good one, like the ones where you could get anything you wanted, or the one with the wizards, the little floating island where the Saucepan Man lives... um, as you can tell, I loved those books.
Ahem. So. Errr... back to reality. My first exam isn't until Saturday which is good because I get more time to revise, but also more time to stress. Yeah, so I've been pretty worried about exams so far. In my head I know that I will be fine, I have done enough work... but at the same time I'm scared. Don't know why. But right now I'm ok because I'm watching Scrubs. I hadn't watched a single episode all term, which I was really proud of because I think I got a little over-addicted at Easter. I don't know, watching 3 or 4 hours solidly ever day? Hhhmm yeah I think so. So now I have to be really careful now!
Right. Well, this blog is a load of rubbish, that doesn't actually say anything sensible. I hope everyone else is happy. Bye bye!
Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world.
She took the midnight train going anywhere.
Just a city boy, born and raised in Detroit
He took the midnight train going anywhere.
Journey, Small Town Girl. (it was just on Scrubs!)
Monday, May 07, 2007
Hhhmmmnnn...
Right. Well, I need to totally go against something I said in my last blog about materialism. I said that I thought I could cope if I lost all my possessions because they aren't the most important things in my life. I still think that's true, but I realised just how difficult that is when it involves sentimental objects. Presents, memories, souvenirs, things that remind you of a person/place/time etc.
To be more specific, on the train on Saturday, I caught my watch on one of the chairs. When I sat down I realised it was loose and I thought the catch had come undone, it does that sometimes. I was surprised therefore to see that the catch was still done up. The strap, however, had come away from the watch face. I was stunned. That meant my watch was broken. Looking around I found one of the pieces that had fallen out, but I couldn't find the pin that held it all together. My beautiful watch was broken. It was all I could do not to cry. It's not just a watch, it's a watch that Tim gave to me three years ago for our second anniversary. I remember when he gave it to me, it was such a surprise because we don't usually make a big deal of things like anniversaries, but this was just before I went to Peru, and he said that everytime I looked at the time I would think of him. Which I did of course! So you see the watche means so much more to me than just telling the time. And now it is broken. I went back to Tim's on the way from the station and burst into tears on his doorstep. He probably thought I'd been attacked or something.
So, I must appologise for what I said. I can't actually remember the last time I lost or broke something so personally important, so I'd forgotten what it feels like. And I guess it's harder than I realised not to be attached, or even defines by what I own. I'm not saying that I think it's a bad thing I am upset over the watch, if I wasn't upset I think it would mean that the watch wasn't as important to me. All I'm saying is that I realised it's not as simple as it sounds to not place too much value on possessions.
In other news, I have my Spanish oral in about 2 hours, fun fun fun. I'm 'listening' to Spanish radio now in preparation! Though I don't understand much, radios are so fast! But although I have butterflies in my tummy, I'm not too nervous, orals generally pose the least problems for me. I'm sure it will be fine. Much more exciting news is that I went to see Phantom of the Opera on Friday. In London!!!!!!!!!! It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo exciting, I practically hyperventilated and at the end when I said I was speechless, my friend commented that it must have been amazing to leave even me without words! Everything was incredible, I love the story and the music anyway, but on stage! The sets were awesome, so clever and there were magical illusions, the singing was stunning, the acting, costumes, orchesrtra... everything was amazing. It was one of the highlights of my life and that is no exaggeration. It's always been my favourite musical, the story is so full of passion and intensity. And yes, I cried at the end. Quite alot! It was so so good.
Aaaaaaaand that's all folks. Wish my luck with my Spanish oral exam!
Hasta luego.
x x x
To be more specific, on the train on Saturday, I caught my watch on one of the chairs. When I sat down I realised it was loose and I thought the catch had come undone, it does that sometimes. I was surprised therefore to see that the catch was still done up. The strap, however, had come away from the watch face. I was stunned. That meant my watch was broken. Looking around I found one of the pieces that had fallen out, but I couldn't find the pin that held it all together. My beautiful watch was broken. It was all I could do not to cry. It's not just a watch, it's a watch that Tim gave to me three years ago for our second anniversary. I remember when he gave it to me, it was such a surprise because we don't usually make a big deal of things like anniversaries, but this was just before I went to Peru, and he said that everytime I looked at the time I would think of him. Which I did of course! So you see the watche means so much more to me than just telling the time. And now it is broken. I went back to Tim's on the way from the station and burst into tears on his doorstep. He probably thought I'd been attacked or something.
So, I must appologise for what I said. I can't actually remember the last time I lost or broke something so personally important, so I'd forgotten what it feels like. And I guess it's harder than I realised not to be attached, or even defines by what I own. I'm not saying that I think it's a bad thing I am upset over the watch, if I wasn't upset I think it would mean that the watch wasn't as important to me. All I'm saying is that I realised it's not as simple as it sounds to not place too much value on possessions.
In other news, I have my Spanish oral in about 2 hours, fun fun fun. I'm 'listening' to Spanish radio now in preparation! Though I don't understand much, radios are so fast! But although I have butterflies in my tummy, I'm not too nervous, orals generally pose the least problems for me. I'm sure it will be fine. Much more exciting news is that I went to see Phantom of the Opera on Friday. In London!!!!!!!!!! It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo exciting, I practically hyperventilated and at the end when I said I was speechless, my friend commented that it must have been amazing to leave even me without words! Everything was incredible, I love the story and the music anyway, but on stage! The sets were awesome, so clever and there were magical illusions, the singing was stunning, the acting, costumes, orchesrtra... everything was amazing. It was one of the highlights of my life and that is no exaggeration. It's always been my favourite musical, the story is so full of passion and intensity. And yes, I cried at the end. Quite alot! It was so so good.
Aaaaaaaand that's all folks. Wish my luck with my Spanish oral exam!
Hasta luego.
x x x
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Measring Life.
Ok, you'll have to bear with me for a moment or two while I get to my point in quite a round-a-bout way.
A few days ago I was walking back home up the not-so-steep hill (as in Potter's Bank) and just about half way up there was a derelict house that got bulldozed earlier this week. We all got abit of a shock when we first saw the pile of rubble with a digger sitting motionless ontop like an eagle protecting it's recent kill. Poor house, it was very sad. Just the other day as I was walking past it, I started thinking about what it would be like to lose a house unintentionally as it were. What about if my house just fell down, or burnt up, or someone stole everything from inside... I don't really think I'm much of a materialistic person, I don't put a great deal of importance on possessions (anyone who's seen the relatively small amount of stuff I own could guess that!) but how would I feel if everything was gone? I thought of Elliot from Scrubs who has the van with all of her things in it stolen. She says to JD that it's just stuff and it doesn't matter, but when he goes round to see her he realises she was just too upset to say the truth. That to her it wasn't just stuff, it was her whole life.
But how do you measure a whole life in just stuff? If someone who didn't know me looked through all of my things, would they get an idea of what kind of person I am? I remember when I first got to Mary's last year. I was in a shared room and my roommate wasn't there but all her things were unpacked. Me and my Dad looked around to see if we could find anything out about her, we discovered she was Chinese (from photos) and was small (from a pair of jeans on her bed) and that she had tons of stuff (she had 3 big suitcases). Anyone who's met Vivian will know that this is a rubbish description of her because although she is all of those things, that isn't how I would describe her. She's one of the loveliest people I've ever met and a few material possessions could never express that. I like to think that I would be ok if for whatever reason I lost all of my things one day. I can't say I wouldn't be upset, I don't know how I would react. But in my life there are so many more important things to me than how many pairs of jeans I have, or how many books I have, or what kind of laptop I have. Although my journals are a bit different... when I was younger I used to leave them all in a pile on the floor every night in case there was a fire, then I could chuck them out of the window. I feel like some of the most important events of my life are in those books and I would be heartbroken to ever lose them.
My point then, eventually reached, was to ask how you would measure your life? How do you quantify your existence? By the number of achievements? failures? boyfriends? holidays? grades? friends? money? possessions? I never used to understand that bit in the Bible that says to store treasure in heaven because everything on earth will eventually rot or fade away. I didn't understand any kind of treasure other then expensive material goods. But what I think it means is make sure you don't ever define yourself by what you have. You should always define yourself by who you are. It's difficult sometimes. I remember hearing a song, I'm going to put the lyrics at the end, when I was in Canada. It's called Seasons of Love and doesn't completely explain what I'm trying to say, but it talks about how you would measure a year. I thought this was interesting. How would I 'measure' a Year In The Life Of Kat? The song gives the following options... daylight, midnights, sunsets, cups of coffee, inches, miles, laughter or strife... are any of those things that I could measure my life with?
I don't really know. I think so, sometimes I think about a particular year and remember that there seemed to be alot of hard things, or good things, or upsetting things. Have you ever seen Hercules? The people of Thebes are lamenting how aweful their existence is, recalling the earthquake, the flood, the fire, that they're bound to get a plague of locusts next their luck is that bad! But that's such a negative way of looking at things! I know that the 'point' (if there ever really was one) of this blog has kind of drifted, to be honest I'm just typing and seeing where it goes! But I think that the point is something like this: to make sure that no matter what happens in life, we don't lose sight of what really matters, the things that we really do define ourselves by, and the things that we really can't live without. Sometimes it's easy to take very good care of material possessions and forget that they don't give us anything in return. They don't make us who we are.
Anyway, this sounded better in my head than it does on screen! Here's the song all the same: (oh and it is dead cheesy so be prepared!!!)
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure? measure a year
in daylights,
in sunsets,
in midnights,
in cups of coffee,
in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
in five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure a year in a life?
how about love?
how about love?
how about love?
measure in love...
seasons of love...
seasons of love...
(female soloist)
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan
five hundred twenty five thousand suix hundred minutes
how do you measure a life of a woman or a man
(male soloist)
in truths that she learned
or in times that she cried
in bridges he burned
or the way that she died
(all)
its time now to sing out though
the story never ends
let's celebrate remember a year in a life
of friends
remember the love...
(oh you gotta remember the love)
remember the love...
(oh yeah, its a gift from up above)
remember the love...
(sing out, give out, measure your life
in looooooove...!!!)
seasons of love...
seasons of love...
A few days ago I was walking back home up the not-so-steep hill (as in Potter's Bank) and just about half way up there was a derelict house that got bulldozed earlier this week. We all got abit of a shock when we first saw the pile of rubble with a digger sitting motionless ontop like an eagle protecting it's recent kill. Poor house, it was very sad. Just the other day as I was walking past it, I started thinking about what it would be like to lose a house unintentionally as it were. What about if my house just fell down, or burnt up, or someone stole everything from inside... I don't really think I'm much of a materialistic person, I don't put a great deal of importance on possessions (anyone who's seen the relatively small amount of stuff I own could guess that!) but how would I feel if everything was gone? I thought of Elliot from Scrubs who has the van with all of her things in it stolen. She says to JD that it's just stuff and it doesn't matter, but when he goes round to see her he realises she was just too upset to say the truth. That to her it wasn't just stuff, it was her whole life.
But how do you measure a whole life in just stuff? If someone who didn't know me looked through all of my things, would they get an idea of what kind of person I am? I remember when I first got to Mary's last year. I was in a shared room and my roommate wasn't there but all her things were unpacked. Me and my Dad looked around to see if we could find anything out about her, we discovered she was Chinese (from photos) and was small (from a pair of jeans on her bed) and that she had tons of stuff (she had 3 big suitcases). Anyone who's met Vivian will know that this is a rubbish description of her because although she is all of those things, that isn't how I would describe her. She's one of the loveliest people I've ever met and a few material possessions could never express that. I like to think that I would be ok if for whatever reason I lost all of my things one day. I can't say I wouldn't be upset, I don't know how I would react. But in my life there are so many more important things to me than how many pairs of jeans I have, or how many books I have, or what kind of laptop I have. Although my journals are a bit different... when I was younger I used to leave them all in a pile on the floor every night in case there was a fire, then I could chuck them out of the window. I feel like some of the most important events of my life are in those books and I would be heartbroken to ever lose them.
My point then, eventually reached, was to ask how you would measure your life? How do you quantify your existence? By the number of achievements? failures? boyfriends? holidays? grades? friends? money? possessions? I never used to understand that bit in the Bible that says to store treasure in heaven because everything on earth will eventually rot or fade away. I didn't understand any kind of treasure other then expensive material goods. But what I think it means is make sure you don't ever define yourself by what you have. You should always define yourself by who you are. It's difficult sometimes. I remember hearing a song, I'm going to put the lyrics at the end, when I was in Canada. It's called Seasons of Love and doesn't completely explain what I'm trying to say, but it talks about how you would measure a year. I thought this was interesting. How would I 'measure' a Year In The Life Of Kat? The song gives the following options... daylight, midnights, sunsets, cups of coffee, inches, miles, laughter or strife... are any of those things that I could measure my life with?
I don't really know. I think so, sometimes I think about a particular year and remember that there seemed to be alot of hard things, or good things, or upsetting things. Have you ever seen Hercules? The people of Thebes are lamenting how aweful their existence is, recalling the earthquake, the flood, the fire, that they're bound to get a plague of locusts next their luck is that bad! But that's such a negative way of looking at things! I know that the 'point' (if there ever really was one) of this blog has kind of drifted, to be honest I'm just typing and seeing where it goes! But I think that the point is something like this: to make sure that no matter what happens in life, we don't lose sight of what really matters, the things that we really do define ourselves by, and the things that we really can't live without. Sometimes it's easy to take very good care of material possessions and forget that they don't give us anything in return. They don't make us who we are.
Anyway, this sounded better in my head than it does on screen! Here's the song all the same: (oh and it is dead cheesy so be prepared!!!)
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure? measure a year
in daylights,
in sunsets,
in midnights,
in cups of coffee,
in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
in five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure a year in a life?
how about love?
how about love?
how about love?
measure in love...
seasons of love...
seasons of love...
(female soloist)
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan
five hundred twenty five thousand suix hundred minutes
how do you measure a life of a woman or a man
(male soloist)
in truths that she learned
or in times that she cried
in bridges he burned
or the way that she died
(all)
its time now to sing out though
the story never ends
let's celebrate remember a year in a life
of friends
remember the love...
(oh you gotta remember the love)
remember the love...
(oh yeah, its a gift from up above)
remember the love...
(sing out, give out, measure your life
in looooooove...!!!)
seasons of love...
seasons of love...
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
My To Do List
Ok, so following on from Helen's blog about things to do before leaving Durham I thought I'd revive my 'things to do before I'm 30' list. I was thinking about all the things on the way home today and decided to write them down before I forget them. Feel free to reply with your own thoughts/additions/lists...
1. steal a Bishop's hat and stand behind him making it talk like a duck.
2. go skinny dipping (again but this time in a river/lake).
3. go to a proper fancy masquerade ball.
4. stay in bed aaaaaall day with my 'husband' (ahem ahem).
5. learn how to use chopsticks properly (i swear my fingers are all in the wrong places).
6. do a sky-dive.
7. acquire more piercings and tattoos.
8. learn how to cook like a gourmet chef.
9. go to a proper 'old school' rock concert.
10. ride a motorbike across the desert.
Ta da!
I'm sure I could think of more things that I want to do but that's it for now!
love to the masses.
x x x
1. steal a Bishop's hat and stand behind him making it talk like a duck.
2. go skinny dipping (again but this time in a river/lake).
3. go to a proper fancy masquerade ball.
4. stay in bed aaaaaall day with my 'husband' (ahem ahem).
5. learn how to use chopsticks properly (i swear my fingers are all in the wrong places).
6. do a sky-dive.
7. acquire more piercings and tattoos.
8. learn how to cook like a gourmet chef.
9. go to a proper 'old school' rock concert.
10. ride a motorbike across the desert.
Ta da!
I'm sure I could think of more things that I want to do but that's it for now!
love to the masses.
x x x
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